Is Controversy YOUR new Normal?

Every. Single. Day. There it is, right there in the headlines; a major controversial theme for the day, which can sometimes take over the news and media for weeks. Saints vs. Rams, Native American vs. Catholic teens, Wall funding vs. Congress, Kavenough vs. Ford, the list could go on for days on end. It has become such a normal part of our daily living, daily news, and daily conversations that I am very concerned for our marriages, our newlyweds, our premarital couples, our young adults, and our future leaders!

The constant controversy we are faced with on a regular basis from companies, groups, National sports leagues, and well-renowned organizations has become the new normal, and nothing can be more damaging toward creating peace and unity! If this has become the ‘norm’ in media, in TV reality shows, in the press, and all over social media- how in the world could families refrain from making this the norm in their own homes and in their most precious and valued relationships with loved ones, spouses, and especially with their children?

This new acceptable form of daily conflict seems innocent, and unavoidable at times; but what is happening is, ‘MEDIA’ is taking ‘clips’ of happenings, or small segments of words or phrases spoken, and developing a negative story out of it; creating perspectives that would sometimes, and often, be non-existent if the ENTIRE message, or ENTIRE video, or ALL the facts were presented, to begin with.

Our controversial culture is wreaking havoc in the subconscious minds of everyone! We literally have become immune to acts of controversial behaviors assuming everyone will adapt and it will be fully acceptable!

This couldn’t be farther from the truth!

DON’T LET THIS NORMALIZATION OF CONFLICT BE YOURS TOO!!

Even one of the fruits of the spirit in the Bible states having forbearance, which means, don’t have resistance, don’t challenge and push for things, have self-control. The Fruit of the Holy Spirit is a biblical term that sums up nine attributes of a person or community living in accord with the Holy Spirit, according to chapter 5 of the Epistle to the Galatians: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. …

If every day we brought a ‘new’ problem to the table within our family or in our workplace, or in our community, everyone would be in discord, major dysfunction, and a breakdown of love and trust would diminish!

When an environment is a never-ending pool of different perspectives, different opinions, and arguments, there is conflict continually. Successful families and companies have positive flowing relationships when they can create an atmosphere that promotes positivity, results, praise, respect, and admiration. The following guidelines are helpful to create unity within groups, teams, partnerships, and families:

• There is kindness; even expressed when providing constructive criticism. We don’t ‘bash’ the child or spouse or employee, we express our discord with ‘choices’ or ‘behaviors’.
• There are boundaries and rules, and they are conveyed as to what and how they should be followed; if homes have no children; spouses express preferences to each other and each partner works hard to conform to their partner’s desires in an effort to please each other.
• There are consequences for not complying to boundaries that everyone agreed to in a family; or set forth by the leader, parent, President, or top authority figure. Without adequate consequences, there would be chaos, and no one would have any reason to adhere to the boundaries, much less comply.
• There is respect. Not everyone will agree, or like all the boundaries, rules, or laws put into place; but under the leadership or parental units, or companies where people have hatred, or a deep dislike, or a strong disagreement; it is the mature responsibility of those individuals to understand this very important principle: If you don’t like the management, you have a few choices: leave the company/family/relationship/group, move out or away from your current authority submitting yourself to new leadership or management, or you rise up to be the leader yourself! But if you remain in the situation, and your way of dealing with it is to badger, criticize, complain, cause dissension, disrupt others peace, you have caused strong negative energies to take over within you, and it wreaks havoc to all those around you. Why engage in actions to yourself and others that cause thoughts and emotions to suffer?

If you are in a family, group or company that argues and has a lot of dysfunction and problems, you have a few choices.

You can stay in the situation (hoping it changes; trying to change it- which often creates constant resistance and lowers everyone’s energy vibrations and emotions! Unless all parties can communicate effectively or seek counseling) Problem rarely gets resolved

Leave the situation (get a new job, move out, or ignore and distance yourself from the problem or person) -problem remains

Argue, or try to ‘WIN’ (a useless, virtually never successful effort) lowers emotional state & problem remains.

In all the above remedies: problem remains. Division, discouragement, bitterness, resentment, blame, negative emotions, hard-spiritedness, dissension, and discord are all results of staying insistent on getting your way.

Compromise is where two parties both ‘step off’ of certain desires, and ‘allow’ for some unwanted things. The keyword here: BOTH parties must give & take.

The only time a person should stand their ground is if a choice is made without their consent- against their will or against their desire- that person afflicted should not be held accountable in any way (financially or otherwise) because someone else made a wrong choice. Example: Son breaks family TV when he threw a ball in the house. Mom thinks the parents should replace it, describing the incident as an accident. Dad, on the other hand, feels the Son should relinquish his allowance, seek new neighbors yards to cut for money, and do whatever else it takes to buy a new TV.

Would the parents replacing the TV be teaching the child how life works? If the parents were not in the child’s life in 5 years, the same scenario happened in college, would the child feel like ‘all’ the roommates should chip in to recover the cost of a TV… since, after all, it WAS an accident? Or, would the child have grown up realizing that we are all responsible for our mistakes- purposeful and accidental mistakes?

Love wins. Patience endures. Kindness calms. Thoughtfulness encourages. Non-resistance compromises.

Sometimes we must come to the realization that we can’t keep trying to have our expectations met, it is so emotionally draining.

Sometimes, things are better left unsaid. Letting go of trying so hard to make a point can be energizing. If someone has a different value system, your point is mute anyway.

Sometimes, it is best to do the following when a difficult person says or does something against our better wishes:

• Pause.

• Shake our head. (release that negative feeling!)

• Realize that sometimes the other person resisting our decision is based solely on their own fears or levels of insecurities.

Each day does not have to include drama. Be a drama-diffuser. Here are the best ways to reduce drama, cease potential arguments- and keep positive flowing energy at work and at home.

A person has a critical argument or comment:

Your Response: That’s interesting.

A person has a negative statement or complaint:

Your Response: What are your ideas to fix that?

A person is going on and on with Blame…blame…blame:

Your Response: What are your plans moving forward since you can’t change the past?

A person has a project or something unreasonable for you to do:

Response: My answer is no, but I’m willing to compromise with the idea to ____________________.

Try hard not to let our present day culture that has developed a ‘normalcy’ to drama and conflict, be your method of everyday operation as well! The Nations leaders may not be in constant unity, but our relationships, families, and workplaces can be!!

Be happy within yourself, and kindness will flow. Be content and grateful, and appreciation will come naturally. Be a person with no expectations, and you’ll rarely be disappointed.

Don’t take things personally. Don’t assume. Always honor your word. And always, do your very best. ~The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

Less conflict = more peace!🤗✌

Life & Relationship Coach,

Annalisa O’Toole

askannalisa.com

Lost Business Etiquette

Business has changed drastically over the years with the introduction and expansion of technology. It is certainly not new news that with the advanced digital management, and digital communications, the art of many business practices, once revered, have gone underground, or died. Many simple skills which were once expected, respected, and practiced, are no longer ‘a thing’. Some skills and business practices are just simply forgotten, not taught, nor are they regular occurrences for the younger generations who rely heavily on digital communications and correspondence. The art of people skills, for example; kind written correspondence, a phone call, or requesting a lunch appointment, has transferred into short, brief communicating efforts. For example, the once hand written, kind, letter written with a business proposition, acquisition, or confirmation, etc…is now simply handled as a brief, short email, or text.

I have personally been appalled at some recent business practices with small business owners who have failed in the special art of what I consider as …

The Three Business Golden Rules.

1. Honoring your word.
2. Treating other’s as you would want to be treated.
3. Not taking things personally.

There are, however, a few other business etiquette guidelines to follow. The benefit of following these simple guidelines is to retain your existing customers. Not losing business is VITAL to the success of a company no matter how big or small. Yes, customers come and go, but why risk letting them go based on the negligence of following simple rules that greatly increase the customer staying happy and loyal?

So the first etiquette golden rule, Honoring your word, should be a no-brainer. If you can not keep a commitment, OK, everyone gets it; life gets in the way. We get sick, we have family that gets sick, people have unexpected surgery, funerals, an accidental over-booking, or accidental double booking, a hang nail, the dog throwing up…everyone has life hit them with an unexpected issue creating the need to break your word. But, WHY…(someone please tell me!) WHY…a person doesn’t have the respect for their customer’s (or worse, first time customer’s) time? WHY would they not call and at least let them know they are running late, can’t make it with the intention to reschedule? WHY must a business person leave their customer ‘waiting’ ‘guessing’ or ‘expecting’ them to show up? It’s like holding someone hostage when they have spent time preparing for the appointment, as in: finding a sitter, making arrangements for children, pets, other people in their life, etc…to accommodate the appointment time.  Here’s a worse scenario; customer’s preparing work for the appointment, only to have to back track and undo the work because the person did not honor their word and come. My husband and I laid out a tedious job of a landscaping material, needed prior to the second step we requested from a contractor. When our contractor didn’t call, or show up – 3 days in a row-without calling or texting to reschedule, we had to pull up our work. This appointment, by the way, was made at the contractors request because I had suggested leaving a drawing for the location needed and leave the check. However, he insisted on coming by to know ‘for sure’ where the locations were for his part. Commendable. But totally inconsiderate to not communicate.   We felt bound up with our time, never knowing if the contractor was going to arrive, arrive late, or not show up at all. After two attempts to reach out, where he did respond to say, “can’t today” on the first day, second time, I reached out to ask if he was still coming as pre-planned the day before, his response: “well, it’s yucky outside”. Third day, I never reached out after the no-show. Each day I gave a window of time that was best. However, without any word, text, call, or email, it was extremely unkind, disrespectful, and unprofessional. How hard is it to just simply let someone know? NEWSFLASH!! It’s OK in business to tell someone what you know will disappoint them; truth is better than no news at all. Having integrity in business is extremely important; but maintaining integrity is MORE IMPORTANT!

Here are some bullet points of other very important business practices that will help gain customers, increase repeat business, and increase word-of-mouth referrals. Most of them have to do with the same guidelines you would want to have with relationships. What creates the best businesses? Those in which customers or team members feel like friends, because businesses have treated them with respect, maintained honest practices, and dealt with business matters kindly, efficiently, honestly, and left no ‘guess work’ about anything.

• Fortune is in the Follow Up! Always follow-up in a timely manner; people become impatient and do not want, nor are willing, to ‘wait’ for a lengthy amount of time to hear back from the company they chose to reach out to! How does it feel to you, to be ‘waiting’ for a long…….time to hear back from someone?
• Understand that not everyone will want what you have, be interested in your offer, or comply to your way of doing business. If we all agreed in every way, on everything, how boring would the world be?  Don’t take matters of business personally. Don’t judge other’s when they do not align their word’s or behaviors with ‘your way’. Allowing life’s path to take its course, by either accepting, or letting go, feels a lot more freeing and peaceful than energy spent resisting, persuading, or fighting for something. No one changes their ways based on commands, but rather; most changes are created by inspirational feelings that alter emotions. This is critical in relationship building, and in growing a business.
• Kindness matters! Recently, I entered the vet for an appointment. I was five minutes after the 5:00 appointment time due to a wreck. As I approached the counter, the administrator never looked up and made eye contact with me. (HUGE BUSINESS ETIQUETTE HERE….{a nugget within a nugget, lol!} ALWAYS HAVE GOOD, UNINTERRUPTED EYE CONTACT!) I said, I am here for the vaccinations with the Vet’s tech, we have an appointment. Told her my dogs names, and she (still without making any eye contact) replied, “Well, it’s a good thing you got here when you did!” I asked, “why?” She said, “Cuz we don’t take appointments after 5:30.” I said, “Well, I don’t understand, we have an appointment.” The staff member ‘huffed’ (still never looking up) and said nothing as she typed away on her computer. I waited…..waited….about a minute or longer…..still no words….so I walked away. 15 minutes later, approximately 5:20 pm, they called our name to be seen. Worst customer service, ever!
• Cleaning up your work space! Nothing is more frustrating for other employee’s, clients homes, or offices a company may visit to do work, than a business person to leave behind the mess generated from their work. It speaks a message loud and clear: Business person does not respect their clients space. Business person does not clean up after their self. Business person does not care enough about the customer to leave the space cleaner than they found it.
• INVITE or COMMUNICATE about happenings, meetings, events, or important occurrences like training, or recognition celebrations, team functions, etc…IN A TIMELY MANNER!  Talk about inconsideration of your employee’s or team mates time? And also, putting your fellow business associates in a very bad predicament; send out a text at the last-minute to inform them of a special event. How rude. This practice is not that of a professional leader. A caring, relationship building leader, lets their partner’s know, IN AMPLE ADVANCE about the important details concerning a company event or meeting. To expect them to comply with late notice is not only disrespectful, but it shows lack of caring enough about the event to give proper notification. People have lives outside of work. Unless they are a salary employee, obligated to a so-called ‘beck & call’ type work arrangement, then there is just no excuse for late notice. How would you like it if your child or husband sprung on you, that they have a ‘need’ that you need to support, but it’s happening in 2 hours. You are expected to attend or help; would you be able to do that? Most people would feel put out, and feel as though there was a communication breach in the family or leadership.
• Honor the chain of command!  In business, the person just above you in position of authority should always be spoken to about a situation that needs attention. If that person does not resolve the issue, then, and only then, is it business-appropriate to go one step higher. If, to no avail for solving, then the next higher up is to be contacted. It is when a business person speaks of the negative situation or problem to another fellow employee, or takes the matter to the President, before the middle management has been informed, that the problem can be more devastating. It is certainly, in every business industry, appropriate and desirable to follow the chain of command rule.
• Always respect an employee’s privacy. If a manager, or director, or person of higher position must speak to a fellow worker, an employee, or someone in a lower position than themselves, they must always do so ‘in private’. It is never appropriate to reprimand someone in front of the other workers, or team. It is however, highly favorable to ‘praise’ a worker in front of other’s and the staff or team. The goal in building relationships and camaraderie within a team, or group is to increase feelings of appreciation, gratitude,  giving encouragement and praise to build worker’s up; while eliminating ridicule, criticism, and reprimands outside of evaluation time or private times for discussing performance, or doing performance reviews.

For more information on good ‘life’ practices, life coaching tips and relationship advice, and available audios for downloading, be sure to visit findingandkeepinglove.com. This blog is: annalisaotoole.com. Also visit: askannalisa.com to learn more about Life Coach Annalisa, her podcast, and upcoming book launch and life coaching services.

 

Lost Business Etiquette

Business has changed drastically over the years with the introduction and expansion of technology. It is certainly not new news that with the advanced digital management, and digital communications, the art of many business practices, once revered, have gone underground, or died. Many simple skills which were once expected, respected, and practiced, are no longer ‘a thing’. Some skills and business practices are just simply forgotten, not taught, nor are they regular occurrences for the younger generations who rely heavily on digital communications and correspondence. The art of people skills, for example; kind written correspondence, a phone call, or requesting a lunch appointment, has transferred into short, brief communicating efforts. For example, the once hand written, kind, letter written with a business proposition, acquisition, or confirmation, etc…is now simply handled as a brief, short email, or text.

I have personally been appalled at some recent business practices with small business owners who have failed in the special art of what I consider as …

The Three Business Golden Rules.

1. Honoring your word.
2. Treating other’s as you would want to be treated.
3. Not taking things personally.

There are, however, a few other business etiquette guidelines to follow. The benefit of following these simple guidelines is to retain your existing customers. Not losing business is VITAL to the success of a company no matter how big or small. Yes, customers come and go, but why risk letting them go based on the negligence of following simple rules that greatly increase the customer staying happy and loyal?

So the first etiquette golden rule, Honoring your word, should be a no-brainer. If you can not keep a commitment, OK, everyone gets it; life gets in the way. We get sick, we have family that gets sick, people have unexpected surgery, funerals, an accidental over-booking, or accidental double booking, a hang nail, the dog throwing up…everyone has life hit them with an unexpected issue creating the need to break your word. But, WHY…(someone please tell me!) WHY…a person doesn’t have the respect for their customer’s (or worse, first time customer’s) time? WHY would they not call and at least let them know they are running late, can’t make it with the intention to reschedule? WHY must a business person leave their customer ‘waiting’ ‘guessing’ or ‘expecting’ them to show up? It’s like holding someone hostage when they have spent time preparing for the appointment, as in: finding a sitter, making arrangements for children, pets, other people in their life, etc…to accommodate the appointment time.  Here’s a worse scenario; customer’s preparing work for the appointment, only to have to back track and undo the work because the person did not honor their word and come. My husband and I laid out a tedious job of a landscaping material, needed prior to the second step we requested from a contractor. When our contractor didn’t call, or show up – 3 days in a row-without calling or texting to reschedule, we had to pull up our work. This appointment, by the way, was made at the contractors request because I had suggested leaving a drawing for the location needed and leave the check. However, he insisted on coming by to know ‘for sure’ where the locations were for his part. Commendable. But totally inconsiderate to not communicate.   We felt bound up with our time, never knowing if the contractor was going to arrive, arrive late, or not show up at all. After two attempts to reach out, where he did respond to say, “can’t today” on the first day, second time, I reached out to ask if he was still coming as pre-planned the day before, his response: “well, it’s yucky outside”. Third day, I never reached out after the no-show. Each day I gave a window of time that was best. However, without any word, text, call, or email, it was extremely unkind, disrespectful, and unprofessional. How hard is it to just simply let someone know? NEWSFLASH!! It’s OK in business to tell someone what you know will disappoint them; truth is better than no news at all. Having integrity in business is extremely important; but maintaining integrity is MORE IMPORTANT!

Here are some bullet points of other very important business practices that will help gain customers, increase repeat business, and increase word-of-mouth referrals. Most of them have to do with the same guidelines you would want to have with relationships. What creates the best businesses? Those in which customers or team members feel like friends, because businesses have treated them with respect, maintained honest practices, and dealt with business matters kindly, efficiently, honestly, and left no ‘guess work’ about anything.

• Fortune is in the Follow Up! Always follow-up in a timely manner; people become impatient and do not want, nor are willing, to ‘wait’ for a lengthy amount of time to hear back from the company they chose to reach out to! How does it feel to you, to be ‘waiting’ for a long…….time to hear back from someone?
• Understand that not everyone will want what you have, be interested in your offer, or comply to your way of doing business. If we all agreed in every way, on everything, how boring would the world be?  Don’t take matters of business personally. Don’t judge other’s when they do not align their word’s or behaviors with ‘your way’. Allowing life’s path to take its course, by either accepting, or letting go, feels a lot more freeing and peaceful than energy spent resisting, persuading, or fighting for something. No one changes their ways based on commands, but rather; most changes are created by inspirational feelings that alter emotions. This is critical in relationship building, and in growing a business.
• Kindness matters! Recently, I entered the vet for an appointment. I was five minutes after the 5:00 appointment time due to a wreck. As I approached the counter, the administrator never looked up and made eye contact with me. (HUGE BUSINESS ETIQUETTE HERE….{a nugget within a nugget, lol!} ALWAYS HAVE GOOD, UNINTERRUPTED EYE CONTACT!) I said, I am here for the vaccinations with the Vet’s tech, we have an appointment. Told her my dogs names, and she (still without making any eye contact) replied, “Well, it’s a good thing you got here when you did!” I asked, “why?” She said, “Cuz we don’t take appointments after 5:30.” I said, “Well, I don’t understand, we have an appointment.” The staff member ‘huffed’ (still never looking up) and said nothing as she typed away on her computer. I waited…..waited….about a minute or longer…..still no words….so I walked away. 15 minutes later, approximately 5:20 pm, they called our name to be seen. Worst customer service, ever!
• Cleaning up your work space! Nothing is more frustrating for other employee’s, clients homes, or offices a company may visit to do work, than a business person to leave behind the mess generated from their work. It speaks a message loud and clear: Business person does not respect their clients space. Business person does not clean up after their self. Business person does not care enough about the customer to leave the space cleaner than they found it.
• INVITE or COMMUNICATE about happenings, meetings, events, or important occurrences like training, or recognition celebrations, team functions, etc…IN A TIMELY MANNER!  Talk about inconsideration of your employee’s or team mates time? And also, putting your fellow business associates in a very bad predicament; send out a text at the last-minute to inform them of a special event. How rude. This practice is not that of a professional leader. A caring, relationship building leader, lets their partner’s know, IN AMPLE ADVANCE about the important details concerning a company event or meeting. To expect them to comply with late notice is not only disrespectful, but it shows lack of caring enough about the event to give proper notification. People have lives outside of work. Unless they are a salary employee, obligated to a so-called ‘beck & call’ type work arrangement, then there is just no excuse for late notice. How would you like it if your child or husband sprung on you, that they have a ‘need’ that you need to support, but it’s happening in 2 hours. You are expected to attend or help; would you be able to do that? Most people would feel put out, and feel as though there was a communication breach in the family or leadership.
• Honor the chain of command!  In business, the person just above you in position of authority should always be spoken to about a situation that needs attention. If that person does not resolve the issue, then, and only then, is it business-appropriate to go one step higher. If, to no avail for solving, then the next higher up is to be contacted. It is when a business person speaks of the negative situation or problem to another fellow employee, or takes the matter to the President, before the middle management has been informed, that the problem can be more devastating. It is certainly, in every business industry, appropriate and desirable to follow the chain of command rule.
• Always respect an employee’s privacy. If a manager, or director, or person of higher position must speak to a fellow worker, an employee, or someone in a lower position than themselves, they must always do so ‘in private’. It is never appropriate to reprimand someone in front of the other workers, or team. It is however, highly favorable to ‘praise’ a worker in front of other’s and the staff or team. The goal in building relationships and camaraderie within a team, or group is to increase feelings of appreciation, gratitude,  giving encouragement and praise to build worker’s up; while eliminating ridicule, criticism, and reprimands outside of evaluation time or private times for discussing performance, or doing performance reviews.

For more information on good ‘life’ practices, life coaching tips and relationship advice, and available audios for downloading, be sure to visit findingandkeepinglove.com. This blog is: annalisaotoole.com. Also visit: askannalisa.com to learn more about Life Coach Annalisa, her podcast, and upcoming book launch and life coaching services.

 

5 essential Leadership tips…

No matter what your job is, domestic-ceo on the home-front, or in Corporate America, or running and growing your own small business, (even in parenting and marriage!) there are certain basic principles of leadership that I have found throughout my life to be vital for growth, unity, & success. This is just a ‘LifeCoachAnnalisa’ theory, but most entrepreneurs I’ve had the pleasure meeting and or learning from, or the great authors who are experts at writing about success tips, teach and mentor from these as well:

1. Everyone has an invisible sign around their neck that says:                                            ~Please, make me feel important.~

2. Always ~Honor your word.~ Keep your commitments. Your word is your bond. It is your credibility, as a person, as a leader, and for the company and family you represent. When your word, or consistency is broken; so is your integrity. People are watching, being influenced, and learning from your example. If you are not committed enough to remain true to your word, or do not lead with consistent efforts; neither will your team, student body, employees, or your children.

3. ~Speak life~ into everyone, and everything. People need affirmation, constant affirmation. Most people move mountains when they are inspired; but freeze up when they are criticized. No one really changes because it’s expected, or demanded. Most change when they are feeling affirmed, appreciated, praised, and most importantly, made to feel they are making a difference!

4. ~Stay in contact~ with people. These high techy days have enormous resresources to stay in constant communication with people. Now with social media, and the ease and practical ways to connect right on your smartphone, there is just no reason not to be breathing positive, encouraging, uplifting messages of information, praise, recognition, and affirmations each and every day or week! People want to be around excited, successful people. How will they know this exists unless they see, hear, feel, and learn from posts, emails, phone calls, texts, and even snail mail cards – that it is happening and they are an important part !!!

5. ~Connect to an accountability partner!~ someone who has gone on to accomplish what it is you want to! Someone you respect. Someone who practices the ‘above’ four leadership qualities. Someone you feel energetic around. Someone you would trade places with because they live their life in such a honorable way! Stay close to this person, and latch on to their counsel. For more life coaching info in an area you may be struggeling with, or to book a Motivational Speaker, contact LifeCoachAnnalisa at www.annalisaotoole.com or call 678-431-6528.

Self-Empowerment

Here is a glossary of words to help you feel EMPOWERED to design the life you ‘really’ want….
ANXIETY….thinking on the past or future. Remedy: Be grateful in this present moment, enjoy the moment you are in, put away the electronics at times when you need to take in what is around you; engage in building relationships (not online, but real-face-to-face time) and simply, let go…allow…flow….in the ‘now’.
DEPRESSION…allowing your mind to default to the doubt, fear, worry, past hardships, future anxiety, sadness of something in the past. Remedy:
SHIFT… shift your mindset to your blessings. What do you have in your life right now that you are so appreciative of? WHO do you have in your life right now that you are so thankful for? Think on things that you desire so much, you can almost taste them showing up!!
BELIEVE…in yourself…in your gifts and talents….in your dreams…in your abilities to serve others and make a positive difference. YOU can, but if you think you can’t, your right.
RELATIONSHIPS….think on what IS working. What is DYNAMIC, not on what is not working, not going right. ONLY entertain the thoughts of positive outcomes, what you want, as if those things are already happening. When you do this, it’s like magic. Opportunities and change in others starts to happen. What we focus on; we bring on. Bring on flowing energy of love! Bring on your soul mate. Bring on the things that make you smile!!!!
MANIFESTING…. is awesome. Just remember, you can not think yourself thin by continuing thoughts of how fat you are! Contrasting thoughts are confusing GOD!!! Get clarity and vision for what exactly what you desire, think on that– as if it IS happening, it IS taking place, it IS developing…and you will recognize amazing results, fast, too!! But, as long as you have thoughts of what you don’t want, those will keep showing up.
Ever started liking a certain car, and then all of a sudden, you seem to see it everywhere? AH…..interesting.
SELF-TALK…the words we say to ourselves are powerful. Are you speaking life into yourself? Or, do I hear doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, disbelief, unworthiness, undeservedness whispering over there between your ears? Every great endeavor, every great relationship, every great entrepreneur started with someone putting value in him or herself first, otherwise, how could they get others on board for their mission, idea, or service? We will only receive in life, that which is aligned and equal or above to how we think of ourselves and what we deserve. Are you receiving what you deserve? No? Let’s raise our deserve levels, by acknowledging and believing we are unique, wonderful, and have gifts and talents that serve a greater purpose that can make a difference in this world. YOU ARE DIVINE!!!! No less than an amazingly talented, spiritual being who has work to do. First, in loving and forgiving yourself, and next, recognizing your great qualities, and then lastly; discovering a need in the world that your creativity can go and make a difference !!!! It can be with family, with a spiritual mission, with a business, or a career, or even within something part-time; but we are all called to do something; we must discover that calling, and begin with positive, loving, kind self-talk to accomplish our dreams. Remember Mohammad Ali? When I recall him being filmed, his famous words were: “I AM the greatest, I’ll show you how great I AM.” God worked through him, he was a champion in his field. In the movie, “Facing the Giants”, a teen was doubting his ability to kick for the football team because of his small size. His father said, “God can use you, David”. The boy said, “How can God use me, I’m so small, and the other kicker is the best at it”. His dad looked at him and said, “David, God works through the last, lost and least, to show how mighty He is. You go out there and do your best, let God do the rest!” In the cliff-hanger ending, David needed to make a 50 yard field goal to win the State Championship, and the coach asked him, “David, do you believe you can do it?” David said “I’ve never kicked that far before, coach” Coach asked again, “But David, DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT? I NEED YOU TO BELIEVE YOU CAN!”…..
……..YOU ARE A CHAMPION, but not until you believe it!!……

Live your Dream in 2016, 10 (steps) to WIN!

Every New year, we all set resolutions (sometimes people don’t) and we set goals, and we at least think on what we want to accomplish, or strive to do different. We think of what we want to do different, we think of what we want to change, what we want to accomplish.

Most people start out with great intentions, but with time, fall off the path of their journey they were so fired up about at the start. I believe in ten things to help people accomplish their goals and resolutions. Here they are:

10 to Win:

1st: We need CLARITY of our goal. What is it specifically we want?

Success is defined as a consistent effort of many steps toward a worthy ideal.

You should write down what you MOST want, one thing that you want more than anything in 2016. Have a detailed idea, write it down.With clarity, you are better able to visualize it, and believe in attracting it!

2nd step: Commitment & Self-Discipline

Commitment to consistent efforts (regardless of how we feel) and  Self-discipline, following through with the commitments made long after the enthusiasm of doing so has passed.

After you make a commitment -to keep your commitments- with consistent discipline, then there a few more steps to getting the results you desire this year.

3rd is the incredibly effective power of visualization. You must actually VISUALIZE having, being, doing, or accomplishing the thing you want most. Visualize it often, as if it IS happening right now. What is the weather like? Where are you standing? Who is with you? What are the emotions your feeling having achieved it? What are others saying to you?  Who would be the most proud? Who would be influenced and inspired by your achievement most? Visualizing is VERY important because it promotes BELIEF.

4th, after commitment, self discipline and Visualization, is deep BELIEF. You must deeply believe you CAN have it. You must believe you deserve it. You must believe you are capable of having it, believe you can maintain it. You must deeply believe it will make a positive difference in your life and in the lives of others. You must believe so deeply- that you feel it is coming to you right now. Each moment, with each choice you’re making, you’re closer to having it show up!!

5th, ACCOUNTABILITY. Who will you check in with on your progress? Or, do you have small target goals to accomplish that hold you to be accountable? Who is a mentor or someone having accomplished this before you that you can check in with? Do you have a support system in place, a person, or a computer program that allows you to ‘track’ progress? No one knows the level of success without the activity toward it being measured. Where will you measure your progress? How will you know if your advancing, or behind schedule of your particular goal without measuring, checking your progress, and getting coached or helped, or mentored toward your goal?

6th -Don’t fall into the Excuse Trap. If you don’t have an accountability partner, create one. If you’re leaders associated to the business you set a goal in are not supporting you in the way you most prefer, or feel is right, don’t spend energy criticizing, BECOME the leader you don’t have! Promote yourself faster! Don’t verbalize or even think on the reasons that have come up why you CAN’T, forget about those. THINK ON the reasons that created your WHY in the first place! Either your DREAM is bigger than all the challenges, or you ‘allow’ the bumps in the road to be bigger. It’s your choice. You can have a GOOD day or a BAD one, the difference is your mindset, and whether or not you’re going to allow exterior factors to influence your journey toward advancement, or allow it to hold you back. Again, your choice. Also, keep in mind, ‘justifying your inactivity, or falling off the band wagon’ is unacceptable. GET MAD! You would get mad if someone didn’t keep their word to YOU! So, why aren’t we mad at ourselves, we treat ourselves horribly!! Don’t be your own enabler!!! HA!!  If you miss your daily action, do it right away, as soon as you become aware!!

7th – Meditation. Start your day with power thoughts! The affirmations, thoughts, and mindset you focus on are the very things that will show up for you throughout your day. Prayer and meditation are two of the most effective ways to design your life and live with positive experiences and aids in easily ridding the negative things from our focus. It can help relieve doubt, pain, fear-based thought, or creating hypotheticals in our mind over circumstances outside our control. It helps keep us in a neutral state of loving peace. Try it!  If you’re unfamiliar, youtube is a great resource, or books on amazon for beginners!!

8th- FAILURE is good. FAILURE is not an option, but know this: You only fail if you don’t keep trying. QUITTING = FAILING. What if Thomas Edison quit after his 1000th attempt to create electricity? What if Abraham Lincoln decided NOT to run in the Presidential campaign after having lost 9 times in his political career, basing his level of success on his failures, verses his small successes along the way? Reggie Jackson could not hold the current #1 home-run hitter position of all time without his 2,597 time record of striking out!! These famous guys failed forward to success. We can too. It’s OK to fail at a task – you don’t fail at the goal unless you make a conscious choice NOT to cross the finish line with whatever it takes. I loved the video of the runner of a race who tore a ligament during running, and as he limped to keep going, his father joined him from the stands, with an arm around him, they crossed the finish line together — NOW THAT’S HAVING COMMITMENT, CONSISTENCY, ACCOUNTABILITY, BELIEF, NO EXCUSES, and a NO FAILING MINDSET!!

9th- Do at least ONE THING DAILY toward your goal. If you are not taking daily steps forward, you will fall back. Someday isn’t a day of the week. Don’t allow other FAST TRACK people to get you discouraged. Their time management, their family commitments, their job, and their energy levels are different. Decide on your goal, set an action plan, include something daily –one phone call, one contact, one action step, and your small efforts will turn into big results over time.

And the 10th IN it to WIN it step is this:

KNOW BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT, YOU DESERVE IT!  YOU ARE WORTHY!  YOU ARE A CHAMPION!  YOU ARE A WINNER IN GOD’S EYES!

Now…go for it. When you accomplish it….come back to this post and tell us about it!!! Ready, Set,…

Commit, Discipline yourself, Get Clarity, Get accountable, VISUALIZE it, Believe it! No excuses, Do one thing a day to keep failure away, Meditate! FEEL WORTHY and Deserving!!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do “I” …need Personal Growth?

“I am who I am”, Heard yourself say that? Or, “I’m just me. No one can expect me to change.” Some of us feel we are fine. We are emotionally healthy. There are hints that life can throw us to know we are kidding ourselves!! Here’s the reality, while setting our personal boundaries is vital to good relationships and creating balance and peace, there are definite times in our lives we need to stop, look within, evaluate our choices and actions to possibly consider tweaking some things. Clues to needing to exit on a new path of personal growth are easy to detect- if your conscious. Here are a few clues:

–People stop listening to you and often become distracted.
–You can not get into or have trouble staying in a committed relationship.
–You do not have a passion, hobby, or strong creative interest in your life outside friends, family and/or a lover(s).
–There is constant drama around you.
Ok…so if any of the criteria above holds true in your life, here are 10 ways to come into massive personal growth –so you can begin to enjoy life! Experience peace. Create balance and harmonious relationships.
1. Read or listen to the audio versions of a personal self help book. I recommend Joel Osteen’s “YOUR BEST LIFE NOW” to start. Or, “THE MAJIC OF THINKING BIG”
2. Surround yourself with people who are where you most want to be in life, emotionally, career wise, spiritually and intellectually.
3. Evaluate who you talk to most. What goes in (your brain) comes out. Make sure people you are close to are not negative, whiney, energy draining, and crisis oriented. Choose positive people who speak life, givers who do for others, people who support your goals, and love their life.
4. If someone walks away from you- Let it be. Let go. Move forward. They may come back in a different season, but for now, you just work on you -to be your very best.
5. Love and forgive yourself. The past is over. Your future is so bright, you’re going to need shades!! Read Jer.29:11
6. You are designing your life. Your thoughts are creating your mood. Your mood inhibits or prohibits your actions. Your actions are developing your life’s journey! So, adjust your thoughts to what you desire with a positive expectation; so deeply believing that all resources and opportunities are aligning to make this a reality even as you read this!! Remember this too: Anxiety happens when our minds are affixed on past or future things. Be mindful of this present moment, be grateful and count your blessings…you will feel anxiousness subside the more you begin to dwell in the “now”.
7. Live and let live. Don’t be needy or clingy to other people. Find your niche’. Discover your calling. This makes you an interesting person. People want to be around people who have fun. People are drawn to those who have enthusiasm! Don’t have unnecessary expectations of others. Let the little stuff roll. Life is too short to get bent over things that won’t matter in 5 years.
8. Understand this: IT IS A HUGE MISTAKE TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON YOUR WORLD. No one is responsible for your happiness, except you. You should be creating a life that is fulfilling, fun, enriched with activities and opportunities that don’t always involve the love of your life.
9. Trust your inner compass. Go with that gut feeling! This is God within you saying YES or No! If it just doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Know the difference between feeling fear or feeling hesitant.
10. Work on self discovery. Just because you have a physical attraction to someone doesn’t mean you are meant to be and will live happily ever after. Your values must match. People need similar priorities and goals or there will be constant resistance.
Decide your career path. Choose your retirement location. Develop your dream. Work on a project that serves someone or something that helps them in some way! Make a list of your “must haves” in a relationship so you have clarity on what you want, and most importantly, your personal red flags!

In careers, love relationships, family relationships and friendships…we should NEVER let our need for affirmation, affection or attention be so strong that we stay involved, but sacrificing our deeper beliefs and values.
Make 2015 your beginning of a massive personal growth journey! Remember, it’s up to YOU…to make ALL your days great!

For more Self-empowerment, dating or marriage coaching, contact LifeCoach, Relationship specialist, Inspiring Speaker, Annalisa O’Toole
678-431-6528
@coachannalisa /twitter
lifecoachannalisa@gmail /email

Annalisa O’Toole, Life Coach, Relationship Specialist, Inspirational Speaker http://www.annalisaotoole.com

Are you a RUG or a BUBBLE?

When the PAIN of remaining the same, grows GREATER than the pain of making a change, you CHANGE!

People want to complain. They play the victim, and have a bad attitude without realizing it. They get sick. Sickness manifests from stress. People target other’s and worldly experiences as reasons they are having a hardship. People are negative. People use doubt as a reason to not move forward. People fear the unknown. People justify their ill feelings based on blaming something or someone or find excuses. People are depressed. People can’t find their happy. People have troubled relationships. People can’t fix the problem in their life. People are discouraged…….
There IS a way out. There IS a remedy. There IS hope.

PRAY & MEDITATE daily for at least 20-30 minutes, learn this art of getting within yourself to heal, renew thoughts, renew focus, seek God.
EXERCISE at least 30 minutes each day.
EAT CLEAN, eat fruits & veggies, avoid processed food, cut out white flour, sugar, and artificial garbage. Choose real organic.
GET CLARITY for your purpose, your passion, your calling. Live life around serving in your area of expertise & gifts- verses working around your hobbies. Put God 1st, family 2nd, career/calling 3rd, and then add hobbies & fun, entertainment and interests; prioritizing your life will add value and harmony, a disorderly life depletes your energy. Being scattered often leads to having to rely on other’s for taking care of responsibilities that are yours.

Remember when our children would plea for doing something themselves, and we were resistant to allow them to do it, because we knew they would either get hurt, fall, fail, or otherwise mess it up? But our MESSING UP or getting hurt, or failing, or falling, is EXACTLY WHY we learned to do it better. Do it differently. We kept falling until we mastered the task. Stay consistent with this list, no matter how you fail, fall, or mess up – I promise, with consistency, you will ‘FEEL BETTER” “LOOK BETTER” “PERFORM BETTER” and it will create in you a feeling of self confidence that only comes from self satisfaction of a job well done!!

Most people don’t relaize they are continueing to complain about things they can’t change. We can only change our reactions, our attitudes and perspectives about things. So why not start today, CHANGE your habits. CHANGE to making this list your priority everyday. See if by practicing these simple steps, you don’t start FEELING BETTER…LOOKING BETTER….HAVE MORE POSITIVE EMOTIONS….ENJOYING LIFE MORE!

• Doing these things consistently will eliminate negative energy. This regimen will reduce or eliminate stress.
• This to-do list will greatly reduce or eliminate bad feelings, depression, sadness.
• This list will give you a new focus, so less focus is dwelling on a crisis.
• This list adds a sense of self-worth, dignity, pride, and good emotions because it is taking care of your body. Taking care of our passions. Taking care of our mind. Taking care of our focus and discipline, and schedule.
• When your life- physically and emotionally- is in order, it is then you can thrive professionally, in relationships, and especially with feelings about yourself. Self confidence is the catalyst that propels you positively toward your goals in all area’s of your life.
• The higher self-esteem you have, the higher your deserve level raises up. And when that happens you begin to recognize behaviors that cause you pain. The more pain you recognize and feel, the lower your tolerance becomes of unkind, manipulative, and emotionally unhealthy people. The lower your tolerance – the stronger you are in setting boundaries for a peaceful life.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God (within) ….and all these things shall be added unto you. 

With God, all things are possible.

Your body is a holy temple of GOD. 

And be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Eph.4:23

A life ending in destruction is one whose God is their belly (over-eaters)whose glory is in their shame (wrong doers) and whose mind is on earthly things (material-world minded) Phil. 3:19

In 1937, Napoleon Hill wrote a book about food, sex, and unspiritual minds being the culprits to why people are unhappy, unstable, broke, uncreative, unhealthy, and unable to see God’s grace. How powerful his words are in this very day and time when people are staying in unhealthy relationships for sex, or based on fear of being alone. People are not controlling their minds and seeking God to guide them, and therefore fall to the temptations of worldly material things to try and find happiness. Some people need constant noise, entertainment, and people around them because they are afraid of their own thoughts, owning their feelings or going down self discovery lane! Some people never meditate to find peace, clarity, or sense of purpose. They just take life on like a big giant shaggy rug, and absorb whatever comes their way. A better plan is living life like we are inside a giant invisible bubble that attracts the things we desire, and repels the people and things that don’t align with our boundaries; boundaries that we set that align with our purpose; our purpose that aligns with our passions. Our passions that align with our skills, gifts, talents, and deepest desires!!

Are you a RUG, or a BUBBLE??

Try the list for a month. See how life changes for you. Remember, it’s up to you – to make your life wonderful, fabulous and worth living- in peace and harmony and happiness!!

GET COACHED! BE BLESSED!!

Life Coach Annalisa~

Three Tree’s

My daughter in college is a nanny. She watches over three very young sisters. Her hours after her classes are usually from 3pm -8pm, sometimes she stays later. She was putting the oldest child to bed, when the little one asked her to read a library book she had checked out. The story of the three tree’s goes something like this:

The Three Trees
Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: ” I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I’ll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!” The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on it’s way to the ocean. ” I want to be traveling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. I’ll be the strongest ship in the world! The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. I don’t want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me they’ll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world.

Years, passed. The rain came, the sun shone and the little trees grew tall. One day three wood cutters climbed the mountain. The first wood cutter looked at the first tree and said, “This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me.” With a swoop of his shining ax, the first tree fell. “Now I shall make a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!” the first tree said.

The second wood cutter looked at the second tree and said, “This tree is strong. It’s perfect for me.” With a swoop of his shining ax, the second tree fell. “Now I shall sail mighty waters!” thought the second tree. ” I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!”

The third tree felt her heart sink when the last wood cutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the wood cutter never even looked up. “Any kind of tree will do for me.” He muttered. With a swoop of his shining ax, the third tree fell.

The first tree rejoiced when the wood cutter brought her to a carpenter’s shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, or treasure. She was coated with saw dust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the wood cutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty sailing ship was made that day. Instead the once strong tree was hammered and awed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even a river, instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the wood cutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. “What happened?” The once tall tree wondered. ” All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God…”

Many days and nights passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box. “I wish I could make a cradle for him.” Her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and sturdy wood. ” This manger is beautiful.” She said. And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and a thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She new she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and the rain. The tired man awoke. He stood up, stretched out his hand, and said, “Peace.” The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the king of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten wood pile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man’s hand to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God’s love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God. That was better than being the tallest tree in the world.

Things aren’t always as they seem; in the midst of hardship, are the invisible inner workings of your dream. God is designing, creating, and working behind the visible scenes to bring you honor, happiness, and all the desires of your heart. Seek Him, and you will find him. Knock and His door shall be opened. Do unto other’s as you would have them do unto you, and your dreams will come true. The seasons of challenge and painful experiences are only that – a season; believe with all your heart, God is working and creating life to be in your favor, and your dream will be bigger and better than you could ever even imagine!

~Life Coach Annalisa

http://www.annalisaotoole.com

The Three Tree’s ref: http://www.word4life.com

http://www.annalisaotoole.com

Re-design Your Life!

Here’s a little info about how to  re-design your life! These are tips I give individuals who come to sessions when they are at a crossroads, and wanting to recreate their life. Whether they are having trouble in relationships, experiencing anxiety or depression, or needing to discover their calling, these are the first tips I share with them:

• CHANGING YOUR THINKING WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. We all have a brain that like a computer, defaults to the negative, the worst case scenario, the doubt, fear, guilt, the self-sabotage, the hopelessness — I believe that when Satan gave Eve the apple, it wasn’t just about SIN…God was in a sense saying, “If you stay in connectedness with me, seek me, I will bring you peace. I will comfort you, I will bring to your mind thoughts of hope, joy, patience, peace, happiness, love, etc…But, if you are out of connectedness with me, you are opening your mind to all that is not of love…other influences…

– hopelessness, guilt, fear, doubt, shame, lust, just to name a few” …..all those are negative thoughts of the mind. Based on your thoughts in your mind — you experience emotions. Then, based on those emotions…we act or react. So, if we program (and constantly re-program) our minds, controlling our thoughts, it is then, we are able to control our emotions, and then in turn, act in ways which we do not regret, or act in ways that attract that which we most desire. IT ALL STARTS WITH THOUGHT!!!!!

• DAILY QUIET TIMES are essential for connecting to your deep thoughts, connecting to God, and putting time invested in a quiet place to re-program your thoughts, and shift your perspectives to the best case scenario, the positive side , and the happy thoughts of what you desire, and what you want, and what you want to do, change, see, or be — etc. Quiet times are not just for lifting your desires to the Lord in prayer, but they also, if you allow your mind to be still and go quiet; it is amazing how God can speak to you in this time.  Meditation is an amazing way to reduce stress, eliminate depression, and add time for you (that you deserve!) to reflect and ponder what you want and how you will proceed to achieve it!
• PASSIONATE PURPOSE…if you have not considered what God’s purpose is for your life, if you have not discovered your calling, or know what your gifts, talents, skills, and creativity are, and how you can serve other’s with them, then you are missing a VITAL part of being all you can be. When you are involved in something outside your children and family, something you feel is worthwhile, (it may be your vocation or job, or it may be alongside your job as a part-time job) or it may be a hobby or deep interest, as long as it is something that you love to do…and you feel you are making a difference with this idea, or calling, or purpose. It aides in helping us to feel a sense of acceptance, purposeful, and helps us to feel we are serving others and making a difference.Some people choose a career, or a job for this, but most people are not in a career or job of a lifetime. If you can spend time discovering your calling, you would complete a void in your life that you may not even realize is missing. AND….you become a much more interesting and unique person who has an apparant passion and interesting things to talk about, and less likely to become co-dependent on someone in a relationship to make you feel worthy, or special. If you are depending on a relationship partner to make you feel valuable, you are making a big mistake. You will, without realizing it, seem needy-clingy, or overbearing.  If you seek a mature, independent partner who loves what they do in life, someone who is balanced, and has personal activities that make them feel complete (sports, church activities, a busy career they love, or a hobby they are into) then you need to have the same! The best relationships  are when two independent people, thrive to grow personally and in healthy ways, come together and share their lives, not two uninvolved people who have no idea what their skills or talents are, have no personal direction or goal, and so they are completely reliant on someone else for their activities, fun, and making them feel valued. BIG mistake.
• NEVER STOP PERSONALLY GROWING AND LEARNING…

School should never be out for the pro. Admit your weaknesses. Have a coach or power partner help point out areas of weakness they see, or help you with encouraging you toward your goals. Whatever you’re working on (hopefully, always something) have that person be your biggest fan. The average of the 5 people you talk to the most is who you will become. That can be scary!! Are your closest friends -energy drainers, emotional vampires, or are they encouragers, lifters of your spirit?  Evaluate this carefully, it makes a huge difference in life.  Always be reading a good book, or watching a you tube video that is in the area of your personal interest. This information can be very helpful toward personally growing to be your very best.

• MAKE YOUR MUST HAVE LIST FOR YOUR IDEAL PARTNER if you are single and desiring a soul mate….

This is HUGE. If you do not have set boundaries for the kind of companion you want, how will you ever know if the next one you meet or go out with will match with your values or your lifestyle? The biggest relationship mistake I see in my coaching practice besides ‘one person not having a personal goal’, or a ‘passionate interest’ (so they lean too much on high expectations of their partner to get what they are seeking in life) is that they fall too quick, or too easily for someone they are very attracted to (in looks) and then after becoming emotionally and sexually connected, they realize the other person is becoming distant, or the other person doesn’t fit their lifestyle, or they constantly don’t meet your expectations…and so…you’re disappointed once again.  Make the list. Never settle. BELIEVE in that person, who is right for you, EXPECT them to show up in God’s way, In God’s time!!

• LOVE YOURSELF. FORGIVE YOURSELF.  God made you in His image. He didn’t create junk. Satan just makes you believe you are- by getting in your head. GET RID OF those thoughts which do not align with peace, comfort and joy.  KNOW that you have great potential to be, do, and soar with anything you want to. Begin your mediations with I AM statements of affirmation. No one will believe in you, love you, care about you deeply, until YOU start doing these with yourself first!!!!
• LIVE INSIDE OUT!  Most people do not live and operate life from this perspective. Know yourself, love yourself, openly and admittedly verbalize your weaknesses, and your gifts, skills, and talents…decide on a path, forgive yourself for past, and set boundaries for your life (what you WILL do, WILL NOT do, WILL have, WILL NOT have, and what you stand for, etc…) then you always know in a short time, if a new person, or opportunity comes your way — if it fits what you have already established as part of your life!!!  Most people though, never decide these things. They never list their skills, believe in their self. They never set their boundaries for an ideal partner…(even as detailed as considering where they want to retire!) so…they are like tumbleweeds in the wind…going with whatever rolls their way, and not understanding why they never get what they want!!!
• CONNECT TO PEOPLE who are where you want to be – emotionally, physically, vocationally, and spiritually!! These are the folks that inspire you. These are people who will live their lives that reflect how you would most like to live yours!  They will be positive influences because you admire and respect their choices. you will learn more by surrounding yourself with successful people. You will reach higher when everyone around you is achieving their dreams. Add these people to your Face Book, follow them on Twitter, Google plus, or linked in. This way, you can learn how they are succeeding, how they are networking, how are they living life with a positive outlook, learn what their secrets are!
• LET GO OF WHAT NO LONGER SERVES YOU.  It’s not easy to let go of things. Extra debt, extra junk, an obsession, a temptation, etc…Especially people or relationships, but as Dave Ramsey always says:

Do today what some won’t; to have later in life, what most other’s don’t!

• YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST!!!  What you think on you bring on. What you think about, you bring about.  If you will start saying affirmations in your head as you think during the day, or when you have quiet time, or meditate: I AM BEAUTIFUL. I AM TALENTED! I AM DESERVING OF A PARTNER WHO LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY.  I AM ATTRACTING POSITIVE EXPERIENCES. I AM ATTRACTING LOVE TO MY LIFE. I AM MINDFUL OF HELPING OTHERS.  ETC…CREATE SOME AFFIRMATIONS OF YOUR OWN, BELIEVING, EXPECTING, AND REHEARSING THEM ALOUD OR IN YOUR MIND. It works!!! 

 

Have a FABULOUS day…remember…it’s up to you!!

Coach Annalisa~   www.annalisaotoole.com

Follow me on Twitter:   @coachannalisa  

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