Be THAT Girl!!

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WOMEN’S 5 quick tips to reach a man’s heart, staying there and being THAT girl he cherishes. ..
1.Men are hungry; become a great cook. A tough day for any man becomes a better day quickly if he walks into his home smelling dinner!! If he’s the cook, learn about making a few entrées, he’ll need a break -and don’t forget to shop for the list to help him!
2.Men do not need to financially support your retail therapy, your cosmetic/body/beauty maintenance, your extensive wardrobe, shoe collection, accessorizing obsession, your house decor do-overs or your pets. They can usually live without those in their personal budget. Even if you’re a couple, respect the family budget. Make enough money to support these and “still” add to the team or family account. It’s the right thing to do. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, google ways to earn extra money at home…there are 1000’s of ways so you’re not dependant 100% on him.
3. Keep yourself slamming fit! You need to LOVE YOURSELF before you can expect him to!! Get your hair done, do your nails. Seek Therapy if your depressed, have emotional issues, or need self-empowerment. Even if you don’t wear make-up, at least have on mascara, lip gloss with fresh breath when your man comes home!
4. Have your passions-hobbies-interests that you love and stay involved with…you’ll stay full of great conversations and be interesting. Also, being active in your own thing means never being predictable (Boring!) If you make yourself completely and totally available. ..your man can feel smothered. Even if your married and your man seems to want a lot of your time, trust me girls, say no sometimes. Absence is healthy. It creates many positive benefits for both people.
5. Feed your man’s ego…compliment him…be his biggest fan…go out of your way to engage in his world. Save your debbie-downer day gab for your gf’s!! Throw in a back rub while you encourage, support, compliment him!!!
These are just five dating and relationship coaching tips. If you need more insight on finding and keeping love, contact me,
Life Coach Annalisa!
www.annalisaotoole.com
678-431-6528

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Re-design Your Life!

ImageHere’s a little info about how to  re-design your life! These are tips I give individuals who come to sessions when they are at a crossroads, and wanting to recreate their life. Whether they are having trouble in relationships, experiencing anxiety or depression, or needing to discover their calling, these are the first tips I share with them:

  • CHANGING YOUR THINKING WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. We all have a brain that like a computer, defaults to the negative, the worst case scenario, the doubt, fear, guilt, the self-sabotage, the hopelessness — I believe that when Satan gave Eve the apple, it wasn’t just about SIN…God was in a sense saying, “If you stay in connectedness with me, seek me, I will bring you peace. I will comfort you, I will bring to your mind thoughts of hope, joy, patience, peace, happiness, love, etc…But, if you are out of connectedness with me, you are opening your mind to all that is not of love…other influences…

– hopelessness, guilt, fear, doubt, shame, lust, just to name a few” …..all those are negative thoughts of the mind. Based on your thoughts in your mind — you experience emotions. Then, based on those emotions…we act or react. So, if we program (and constantly re-program) our minds, controlling our thoughts, it is then, we are able to control our emotions, and then in turn, act in ways which we do not regret, or act in ways that attract that which we most desire. IT ALL STARTS WITH THOUGHT!!!!!

  • DAILY QUIET TIMES are essential for connecting to your deep thoughts, connecting to God, and putting time invested in a quiet place to re-program your thoughts, and shift your perspectives to the best case scenario, the positive side , and the happy thoughts of what you desire, and what you want, and what you want to do, change, see, or be — etc. Quiet times are not just for lifting your desires to the Lord in prayer, but they also, if you allow your mind to be still and go quiet; it is amazing how God can speak to you in this time.  Meditation is an amazing way to reduce stress, eliminate depression, and add time for you (that you deserve!) to reflect and ponder what you want and how you will proceed to achieve it!
  • PASSIONATE PURPOSE…if you have not considered what God’s purpose is for your life, if you have not discovered your calling, or know what your gifts, talents, skills, and creativity are, and how you can serve other’s with them, then you are missing a VITAL part of being all you can be. When you are involved in something outside your children and family, something you feel is worthwhile, (it may be your vocation or job, or it may be alongside your job as a part-time job) or it may be a hobby or deep interest, as long as it is something that you love to do…and you feel you are making a difference with this idea, or calling, or purpose. It aides in helping us to feel a sense of acceptance, purposeful, and helps us to feel we are serving others and making a difference.Some people choose a career, or a job for this, but most people are not in a career or job of a lifetime. If you can spend time discovering your calling, you would complete a void in your life that you may not even realize is missing. AND….you become a much more interesting and unique person who has an apparant passion and interesting things to talk about, and less likely to become co-dependent on someone in a relationship to make you feel worthy, or special. If you are depending on a relationship partner to make you feel valuable, you are making a big mistake. You will, without realizing it, seem needy-clingy, or overbearing.  If you seek a mature, independent partner who loves what they do in life, someone who is balanced, and has personal activities that make them feel complete (sports, church activities, a busy career they love, or a hobby they are into) then you need to have the same! The best relationships  are when two independent people, thrive to grow personally and in healthy ways, come together and share their lives, not two uninvolved people who have no idea what their skills or talents are, have no personal direction or goal, and so they are completely reliant on someone else for their activities, fun, and making them feel valued. BIG mistake.
  • NEVER STOP PERSONALLY GROWING AND LEARNING

School should never be out for the pro. Admit your weaknesses. Have a coach or power partner help point out areas of weakness they see, or help you with encouraging you toward your goals. Whatever you’re working on (hopefully, always something) have that person be your biggest fan. The average of the 5 people you talk to the most is who you will become. That can be scary!! Are your closest friends -energy drainers, emotional vampires, or are they encouragers, lifters of your spirit?  Evaluate this carefully, it makes a huge difference in life.  Always be reading a good book, or watching a you tube video that is in the area of your personal interest. This information can be very helpful toward personally growing to be your very best.

  • MAKE YOUR MUST HAVE LIST FOR YOUR IDEAL PARTNER if you are single and desiring a soul mate….

This is HUGE. If you do not have set boundaries for the kind of companion you want, how will you ever know if the next one you meet or go out with will match with your values or your lifestyle? The biggest relationship mistake I see in my coaching practice besides ‘one person not having a personal goal’, or a ‘passionate interest’ (so they lean too much on high expectations of their partner to get what they are seeking in life) is that they fall too quick, or too easily for someone they are very attracted to (in looks) and then after becoming emotionally and sexually connected, they realize the other person is becoming distant, or the other person doesn’t fit their lifestyle, or they constantly don’t meet your expectations…and so…you’re disappointed once again.  Make the list. Never settle. BELIEVE in that person, who is right for you, EXPECT them to show up in God’s way, In God’s time!!

    • LOVE YOURSELF. FORGIVE YOURSELF.  God made you in His image. He didn’t create junk. Satan just makes you believe you are- by getting in your head. GET RID OF those thoughts which do not align with peace, comfort and joy.  KNOW that you have great potential to be, do, and soar with anything you want to. Begin your mediations with I AM statements of affirmation. No one will believe in you, love you, care about you deeply, until YOU start doing these with yourself first!!!!
    • LIVE INSIDE OUT!  Most people do not live and operate life from this perspective. Know yourself, love yourself, openly and admittedly verbalize your weaknesses, and your gifts, skills, and talents…decide on a path, forgive yourself for past, and set boundaries for your life (what you WILL do, WILL NOT do, WILL have, WILL NOT have, and what you stand for, etc…) then you always know in a short time, if a new person, or opportunity comes your way — if it fits what you have already established as part of your life!!!  Most people though, never decide these things. They never list their skills, believe in their self. They never set their boundaries for an ideal partner…(even as detailed as considering where they want to retire!) so…they are like tumbleweeds in the wind…going with whatever rolls their way, and not understanding why they never get what they want!!!
  • CONNECT TO PEOPLE who are where you want to be – emotionally, physically, vocationally, and spiritually!! These are the folks that inspire you. These are people who will live their lives that reflect how you would most like to live yours!  They will be positive influences because you admire and respect their choices. you will learn more by surrounding yourself with successful people. You will reach higher when everyone around you is achieving their dreams. Add these people to your Face Book, follow them on Twitter, Google plus, or linked in. This way, you can learn how they are succeeding, how they are networking, how are they living life with a positive outlook, learn what their secrets are!
  • LET GO OF WHAT NO LONGER SERVES YOU.  It’s not easy to let go of things. Extra debt, extra junk, an obsession, a temptation, etc…Especially people or relationships, but as Dave Ramsey always says:

Do today what some won’t; to have later in life, what most other’s don’t!

  • YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST!!!  What you think on you bring on. What you think about, you bring about.  If you will start saying affirmations in your head as you think during the day, or when you have quiet time, or meditate: I AM BEAUTIFUL. I AM TALENTED! I AM DESERVING OF A PARTNER WHO LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY.  I AM ATTRACTING POSITIVE EXPERIENCES. I AM ATTRACTING LOVE TO MY LIFE. I AM MINDFUL OF HELPING OTHERS.  ETC…CREATE SOME AFFIRMATIONS OF YOUR OWN, BELIEVING, EXPECTING, AND REHEARSING THEM ALOUD OR IN YOUR MIND. It works!!! 

 

Have a FABULOUS day…remember…it’s up to you!!

Coach Annalisa~   www.annalisaotoole.com

Follow me on Twitter:   @coachannalisa  

Like FaceBook page:  Inspired Life Coaching  678-431-6528

 

I’m so broke…

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If you’re broke, how long do you want to stay that way? Do you have a dream you haven’t started? Why not? Is it because you don’t believe you can? Is it because you don’t know how? Is your failure to step up because you’re afraid you’ll get egg on your face and fall down? Is Fear bigger than your dream? Is that it? Oh…wait, is it that you’re UNCOMFORTABLE with doing things the way the successful people taught other’s to imitate? – it’s an uncomfortable ‘fit’, the way other’s are doing it, and you just don’t feel as smart as them? or, you don’t feel you have the ‘magic’ touch, or the right ‘words’ or the ‘way with people’ like they do? Do you think those successful people were born with the words, the touch, the magic? WRONG. They acquired confidence, wisdom of the business, and people skills by DOING THE UNCOMFORTABLE for so long, they learned the art and gift of getting what they wanted. They learned quickly, their DREAM was bigger than their FEAR. They learned fast that the obstacles they thought were ‘signs’ to STOP or QUIT, or GO DO THAT OTHER THING were actually stepping-stones of lessons that actually propelled them forward.

If your tired ~~~~~~ of being sick and tired, GO FOR YOUR DREAM!! YOU CAN DO IT!! Here’s a list of things to start doing TODAY!!
1. Connect with people who have already accomplished your dream, gone on before you to succeed, and LISTEN to them – daily if you have to. Get Coached. Hear their success stories, take their advice.
2. Connect with other winners who believe in you, who encourage you, who care about you, who want you to rise up!!
3. DISCONNECT to people who emotionally drain you, who pull your energy down, who lean toward the negative, who are always in a crisis, who ‘need you’, but do not contribute to your goals or dreams. You can get back to helping the needy when you’ve arrived at the goal you are after right now.
4. Do not expect resources to come, or delay getting started because of a lack of them — God does not call the equipped, he equips the called. Put on your running shoes, that’s all you need for right now, let God bring the other stuff in time.
5. If you can see it, believe in it, you CAN ACHIEVE IT!! Go…..Go….Run!!! Go after it with all your heart!
6. Don’t allow other’s to rain on your parade. Other’s will put down what they don’t understand and what they are not willing to do for themselves!!
7. Many will tell you – you’re doing the impossible. Your belief must be stronger than their lack of wisdom, lack of faith, and lack of confidence to go outside their own comfort zone. Just say to them “Well, you keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll keep on working toward my dream, I sure hope I’ll be seeing you on the beaches of the world, cause that’s where I’ll be!!!
8. NEVER GIVE UP!! The easy way out is the illusion that the grass is greener on the other side -(it’s only greener where you water and fertilize it) and it’s easy to forget what first prompted your spirit toward your dream and the opportunity God gave you; the hard part, is sticking it out – you know, those the challenging situations long enough to learning the lessons intended, and moving forward anyway!!!
9. Get your priorities in order. First things first. Be a good time manager. Learn to NOT allow creative avoidance. Learn to say “no” to what isn’t helping you meet new people, inspire you toward your dream, or family oriented. Say yes to the activities that will align with your great big goals, and take on ‘extra’s’ later, when money is rolling in, and you have a balance with your work activity. Here are great words when your faced with having to turn away someone or something: “Thank you so much for thinking of me, that’s a great opportunity, but I am working on a great big goal right now, catch me next time!”
10. PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL/BOY britches, and don’t sweat the small stuff! If someone says I don’t know – I just don’t think so, or they say ‘NO, no way’, learn to work through that, to get to the real objective, or learn to let go. Learn the art of not taking things personal. Learn to let go of someone who can’t say yes or no. Learn that to get to enough yes’, you have to get a lot of no’s. No’s are the major part of any program, any new idea, and any new endeavor. Challenge yourself to get 10 no’s, bet you can’t do it, and if you do, I bet you’re about to get a breakthrough for a big number of yes’!! Don’t interpret a lot of No’s as, it’s not the right opportunity for you, but rather, consider it a learning curve. YOUR CURVED in your presentation or approach, most likely. Get a new approach, or alter the things that are not working. Watch and learn from those who are succeeding. Pray over your weaknesses, be open and teachable. Learn to accept constructive criticism.

Who am I to write such harsh words of wisdom on going for your dreams? What would I know about putting down fears? I am a Life Coach who put FEAR first, before determining my WHY, and then planning my HOW. I was motivated, but exasperated over my own inability to FEAL the FEAR, and DO IT ANYWAY!! NOW, I am no longer afraid…look out world, here I go!! Who’s coming with me?

YOUR DREAMS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR SADNESS OVER WHAT’S NOT WORKING IN YOUR LIFE. YOU HAVE THE POWER AND THE POTENTIAL TO CHANGE YOUR SITUATION. CHANGE IT TODAY, DON’T DELAY YOUR DREAM ANY LONGER!! WHEN YOU MAKE MORE MONEY, YOU’LL HAVE MORE CHOICES. BE MORE, GIVE MORE, BY DOING MORE!!! DON’T BE SHY. YOU WERE BORN TO SHINE!! YOU ARE A WINNER, YOU’RE JUST NOT PLAYING THE GAME ENOUGH FOR YOUR SCORES TO SHOW UP!!!

GOOD LUCK!! WISHING YOU THE BEST YEAR EVER, A YEAR FOR ACCOMPLISHING ALL YOUR DREAMS…..I HOPE I’LL BE SEEING YOU ON THE BEACHES OF THE WORLD BECAUSE I’LL BE THERE!!
COACH ANNALISA ~
WWW.INSPIREDLIFECOACHING.NET

PERSPECTIVE…lessons from a Jellyfish…

PERSPECTIVE...lessons from a jellyfish...

This morning, after a fabulous breakfast and cup of coffee, after tweeting and checking the worlds activities through social media sites, I entered the master to dress for the gym, only to discover, HALF the bed made. Seriously? Yes indeed. Mr. Clean’s half. (That’s the husband) He actually made HALF the bed. Can you guess which side? Of course you can. He must have just walked by his side on the way to the closet because his side of the bed is next to the closet. Or, no…wait…he feels as though I’m not doing my fair share? Afterall, he DID cook us breakfast, clean all the dishes, and put them away while I was ‘space-facin’ as he calls it. No…I think the reason is so he could send me a message like..’hey, help me out here, would ya? ” …but, just as it is with the JELLYFISH….we think of the negative aspects first. WHY do we do this? Why does our thought process default to the following: “What about me” Why me?” “What’s in it for me”…and further more, the default is..”Why are they against me?” …”What have I done wrong to deserve this?”…”Why are they so stubborn?”…..But, wouldn’t most of us agree there are individuals out there who actually see or hear of a JELLYFISH and think of how unique they are, maybe how elegant they dance in the sea, or how their colors glow, or how they are so amazingly different from all of God’s creatures? Not me, I immediately, when hearing the word, or see one, think about THE STING.
When I brought it to Mr. Clean’s attention, I asked, “So, I see you only made YOUR half of the bed…interesting, do you think I am not doing my fair share around here? Is there something wrong?”….
He simply, and softly replies…” So I make up half the bed as I walked by, you make it everyday mostly, and instead of being grateful that HALF is made, and it helps out, you’re going to complain about it?”
It was then that I realized, my thinkin was pretty stinkin about now. It was then that I realized, Mr. Clean spoils me. He is a Clean phanatic, and if something needs picking up, fixing, mending, repairing, or it’s out of place, or undone, yes sir– ree Bob…Mr. Clean is on it like lightening. It was then I realized something unique, like Jellyfish….I should stop and try to make a strong effort, to see the positive side of things before ALLOWING my perpsective to default to a negative place. In addition though to the PERSPECTIVE lesson in this morning’s festivities, there was another lesson within a lesson. That, by all the more of Mr. Clean’s helpfulness and generosity, the more disabled I became to seeing the positive side of things, the more little bit of entitlement and negative thinking set in. So it is with great courage and willingness to ‘becoming’ a better me, the best me in fact, that I must say, took an act that many people would have allowed to ruin their day with blame, male bashing and negative contemplation, and I turned it into a great lesson for myself. TAKE the time to remember the Jellyfish. Remember, there’s always a lesson, there’s always a positive, there’s always a way to consider the beauty in this life, and the beauty in other’s. Especially, those who love you. I love my Mr. Clean…I hope you consider your spouse to be, (even through challenging situations where you’re defaulting to the negative)….someone that helps you to be your best!!