Is Controversy YOUR new Normal?

Every. Single. Day. There it is, right there in the headlines; a major controversial theme for the day, which can sometimes take over the news and media for weeks. Saints vs. Rams, Native American vs. Catholic teens, Wall funding vs. Congress, Kavenough vs. Ford, the list could go on for days on end. It has become such a normal part of our daily living, daily news, and daily conversations that I am very concerned for our marriages, our newlyweds, our premarital couples, our young adults, and our future leaders!

The constant controversy we are faced with on a regular basis from companies, groups, National sports leagues, and well-renowned organizations has become the new normal, and nothing can be more damaging toward creating peace and unity! If this has become the ‘norm’ in media, in TV reality shows, in the press, and all over social media- how in the world could families refrain from making this the norm in their own homes and in their most precious and valued relationships with loved ones, spouses, and especially with their children?

This new acceptable form of daily conflict seems innocent, and unavoidable at times; but what is happening is, ‘MEDIA’ is taking ‘clips’ of happenings, or small segments of words or phrases spoken, and developing a negative story out of it; creating perspectives that would sometimes, and often, be non-existent if the ENTIRE message, or ENTIRE video, or ALL the facts were presented, to begin with.

Our controversial culture is wreaking havoc in the subconscious minds of everyone! We literally have become immune to acts of controversial behaviors assuming everyone will adapt and it will be fully acceptable!

This couldn’t be farther from the truth!

DON’T LET THIS NORMALIZATION OF CONFLICT BE YOURS TOO!!

Even one of the fruits of the spirit in the Bible states having forbearance, which means, don’t have resistance, don’t challenge and push for things, have self-control. The Fruit of the Holy Spirit is a biblical term that sums up nine attributes of a person or community living in accord with the Holy Spirit, according to chapter 5 of the Epistle to the Galatians: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. …

If every day we brought a ‘new’ problem to the table within our family or in our workplace, or in our community, everyone would be in discord, major dysfunction, and a breakdown of love and trust would diminish!

When an environment is a never-ending pool of different perspectives, different opinions, and arguments, there is conflict continually. Successful families and companies have positive flowing relationships when they can create an atmosphere that promotes positivity, results, praise, respect, and admiration. The following guidelines are helpful to create unity within groups, teams, partnerships, and families:

  • There is kindness; even expressed when providing constructive criticism. We don’t ‘bash’ the child or spouse or employee, we express our discord with ‘choices’ or ‘behaviors’.
  • There are boundaries and rules, and they are conveyed as to what and how they should be followed; if homes have no children; spouses express preferences to each other and each partner works hard to conform to their partner’s desires in an effort to please each other.
  • There are consequences for not complying to boundaries that everyone agreed to in a family; or set forth by the leader, parent, President, or top authority figure. Without adequate consequences, there would be chaos, and no one would have any reason to adhere to the boundaries, much less comply.
  • There is respect. Not everyone will agree, or like all the boundaries, rules, or laws put into place; but under the leadership or parental units, or companies where people have hatred, or a deep dislike, or a strong disagreement; it is the mature responsibility of those individuals to understand this very important principle: If you don’t like the management, you have a few choices: leave the company/family/relationship/group, move out or away from your current authority submitting yourself to new leadership or management, or you rise up to be the leader yourself! But if you remain in the situation, and your way of dealing with it is to badger, criticize, complain, cause dissension, disrupt others peace, you have caused strong negative energies to take over within you, and it wreaks havoc to all those around you. Why engage in actions to yourself and others that cause thoughts and emotions to suffer?

If you are in a family, group or company that argues and has a lot of dysfunction and problems, you have a few choices.

You can stay in the situation (hoping it changes; trying to change it- which often creates constant resistance and lowers everyone’s energy vibrations and emotions! Unless all parties can communicate effectively or seek counseling) Problem rarely gets resolved

Leave the situation (get a new job, move out, or ignore and distance yourself from the problem or person) -problem remains

Argue, or try to ‘WIN’ (a useless, virtually never successful effort) lowers emotional state & problem remains.

In all the above remedies: problem remains. Division, discouragement, bitterness, resentment, blame, negative emotions, hard-spiritedness, dissension, and discord are all results of staying insistent on getting your way.

Compromise is where two parties both ‘step off’ of certain desires, and ‘allow’ for some unwanted things. The keyword here: BOTH parties must give & take.

The only time a person should stand their ground is if a choice is made without their consent- against their will or against their desire- that person afflicted should not be held accountable in any way (financially or otherwise) because someone else made a wrong choice. Example: Son breaks family TV when he threw a ball in the house. Mom thinks the parents should replace it, describing the incident as an accident. Dad, on the other hand, feels the Son should relinquish his allowance, seek new neighbors yards to cut for money, and do whatever else it takes to buy a new TV.

Would the parents replacing the TV be teaching the child how life works? If the parents were not in the child’s life in 5 years, the same scenario happened in college, would the child feel like ‘all’ the roommates should chip in to recover the cost of a TV… since, after all, it WAS an accident? Or, would the child have grown up realizing that we are all responsible for our mistakes- purposeful and accidental mistakes?

Love wins. Patience endures. Kindness calms. Thoughtfulness encourages. Non-resistance compromises.

Sometimes we must come to the realization that we can’t keep trying to have our expectations met, it is so emotionally draining.

Sometimes, things are better left unsaid. Letting go of trying so hard to make a point can be energizing. If someone has a different value system, your point is mute anyway.

Sometimes, it is best to do the following when a difficult person says or does something against our better wishes:

  • Pause.
  • Shake our head. (release that negative feeling!)
  • Realize that sometimes the other person resisting our decision is based solely on their own fears or levels of insecurities.

Each day does not have to include drama. Be a drama-diffuser. Here are the best ways to reduce drama, cease potential arguments- and keep positive flowing energy at work and at home.

A person has a critical argument or comment:

Your Response: That’s interesting.

A person has a negative statement or complaint:

Your Response: What are your ideas to fix that?

A person is going on and on with Blame…blame…blame:

Your Response: What are your plans moving forward since you can’t change the past?

A person has a project or something unreasonable for you to do:

Response: My answer is no, but I’m willing to compromise with the idea to ____________________.

Try hard not to let our present day culture that has developed a ‘normalcy’ to drama and conflict, be your method of everyday operation as well! The Nations leaders may not be in constant unity, but our relationships, families, and workplaces can be!!

Be happy within yourself, and kindness will flow. Be content and grateful, and appreciation will come naturally. Be a person with no expectations, and you’ll rarely be disappointed.

Don’t take things personally. Don’t assume. Always honor your word. And always, do your very best. ~The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

Less conflict = more peace!🤗✌

Life & Relationship Coach,

Annalisa O’Toole

askannalisa.com

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Self-Empowerment

Here is a glossary of words to help you feel EMPOWERED to design the life you ‘really’ want….
ANXIETY….thinking on the past or future. Remedy: Be grateful in this present moment, enjoy the moment you are in, put away the electronics at times when you need to take in what is around you; engage in building relationships (not online, but real-face-to-face time) and simply, let go…allow…flow….in the ‘now’.
DEPRESSION…allowing your mind to default to the doubt, fear, worry, past hardships, future anxiety, sadness of something in the past. Remedy:
SHIFT… shift your mindset to your blessings. What do you have in your life right now that you are so appreciative of? WHO do you have in your life right now that you are so thankful for? Think on things that you desire so much, you can almost taste them showing up!!
BELIEVE…in yourself…in your gifts and talents….in your dreams…in your abilities to serve others and make a positive difference. YOU can, but if you think you can’t, your right.
RELATIONSHIPS….think on what IS working. What is DYNAMIC, not on what is not working, not going right. ONLY entertain the thoughts of positive outcomes, what you want, as if those things are already happening. When you do this, it’s like magic. Opportunities and change in others starts to happen. What we focus on; we bring on. Bring on flowing energy of love! Bring on your soul mate. Bring on the things that make you smile!!!!
MANIFESTING…. is awesome. Just remember, you can not think yourself thin by continuing thoughts of how fat you are! Contrasting thoughts are confusing GOD!!! Get clarity and vision for what exactly what you desire, think on that– as if it IS happening, it IS taking place, it IS developing…and you will recognize amazing results, fast, too!! But, as long as you have thoughts of what you don’t want, those will keep showing up.
Ever started liking a certain car, and then all of a sudden, you seem to see it everywhere? AH…..interesting.
SELF-TALK…the words we say to ourselves are powerful. Are you speaking life into yourself? Or, do I hear doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, disbelief, unworthiness, undeservedness whispering over there between your ears? Every great endeavor, every great relationship, every great entrepreneur started with someone putting value in him or herself first, otherwise, how could they get others on board for their mission, idea, or service? We will only receive in life, that which is aligned and equal or above to how we think of ourselves and what we deserve. Are you receiving what you deserve? No? Let’s raise our deserve levels, by acknowledging and believing we are unique, wonderful, and have gifts and talents that serve a greater purpose that can make a difference in this world. YOU ARE DIVINE!!!! No less than an amazingly talented, spiritual being who has work to do. First, in loving and forgiving yourself, and next, recognizing your great qualities, and then lastly; discovering a need in the world that your creativity can go and make a difference !!!! It can be with family, with a spiritual mission, with a business, or a career, or even within something part-time; but we are all called to do something; we must discover that calling, and begin with positive, loving, kind self-talk to accomplish our dreams. Remember Mohammad Ali? When I recall him being filmed, his famous words were: “I AM the greatest, I’ll show you how great I AM.” God worked through him, he was a champion in his field. In the movie, “Facing the Giants”, a teen was doubting his ability to kick for the football team because of his small size. His father said, “God can use you, David”. The boy said, “How can God use me, I’m so small, and the other kicker is the best at it”. His dad looked at him and said, “David, God works through the last, lost and least, to show how mighty He is. You go out there and do your best, let God do the rest!” In the cliff-hanger ending,Image result for champion pic David needed to make a 50 yard field goal to win the State Championship, and the coach asked him, “David, do you believe you can do it?” David said “I’ve never kicked that far before, coach” Coach asked again, “But David, DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT? I NEED YOU TO BELIEVE YOU CAN!”…..
……..YOU ARE A CHAMPION, but not until you believe it!!……

Why do “I” …need Personal Growth?

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“I am who I am”, Heard yourself say that? Or, “I’m just me. No one can expect me to change.” Some of us feel we are fine. We are emotionally healthy. There are hints that life can throw us to know we are kidding ourselves!! Here’s the reality, while setting our personal boundaries is vital to good relationships and creating balance and peace, there are definite times in our lives we need to stop, look within, evaluate our choices and actions to possibly consider tweaking some things. Clues to needing to exit on a new path of personal growth are easy to detect- if your conscious. Here are a few clues:

–People stop listening to you and often become distracted.
–You can not get into or have trouble staying in a committed relationship.
–You do not have a passion, hobby, or strong creative interest in your life outside friends, family and/or a lover(s).
–There is constant drama around you.
Ok…so if any of the criteria above holds true in your life, here are 10 ways to come into massive personal growth –so you can begin to enjoy life! Experience peace. Create balance and harmonious relationships.
1. Read or listen to the audio versions of a personal self help book. I recommend Joel Osteen’s “YOUR BEST LIFE NOW” to start. Or, “THE MAJIC OF THINKING BIG”
2. Surround yourself with people who are where you most want to be in life, emotionally, career wise, spiritually and intellectually.
3. Evaluate who you talk to most. What goes in (your brain) comes out. Make sure people you are close to are not negative, whiney, energy draining, and crisis oriented. Choose positive people who speak life, givers who do for others, people who support your goals, and love their life.
4. If someone walks away from you- Let it be. Let go. Move forward. They may come back in a different season, but for now, you just work on you -to be your very best.
5. Love and forgive yourself. The past is over. Your future is so bright, you’re going to need shades!! Read Jer.29:11
6. You are designing your life. Your thoughts are creating your mood. Your mood inhibits or prohibits your actions. Your actions are developing your life’s journey! So, adjust your thoughts to what you desire with a positive expectation; so deeply believing that all resources and opportunities are aligning to make this a reality even as you read this!! Remember this too: Anxiety happens when our minds are affixed on past or future things. Be mindful of this present moment, be grateful and count your blessings…you will feel anxiousness subside the more you begin to dwell in the “now”.
7. Live and let live. Don’t be needy or clingy to other people. Find your niche’. Discover your calling. This makes you an interesting person. People want to be around people who have fun. People are drawn to those who have enthusiasm! Don’t have unnecessary expectations of others. Let the little stuff roll. Life is too short to get bent over things that won’t matter in 5 years.
8. Understand this: IT IS A HUGE MISTAKE TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON YOUR WORLD. No one is responsible for your happiness, except you. You should be creating a life that is fulfilling, fun, enriched with activities and opportunities that don’t always involve the love of your life.
9. Trust your inner compass. Go with that gut feeling! This is God within you saying YES or No! If it just doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Know the difference between feeling fear or feeling hesitant.
10. Work on self discovery. Just because you have a physical attraction to someone doesn’t mean you are meant to be and will live happily ever after. Your values must match. People need similar priorities and goals or there will be constant resistance.
Decide your career path. Choose your retirement location. Develop your dream. Work on a project that serves someone or something that helps them in some way! Make a list of your “must haves” in a relationship so you have clarity on what you want, and most importantly, your personal red flags!

In careers, love relationships, family relationships and friendships…we should NEVER let our need for affirmation, affection or attention be so strong that we stay involved, but sacrificing our deeper beliefs and values.
Make 2015 your beginning of a massive personal growth journey! Remember, it’s up to YOU…to make ALL your days great!

For more Self-empowerment, dating or marriage coaching, contact LifeCoach, Relationship specialist, Inspiring Speaker, Annalisa O’Toole
678-431-6528
@coachannalisa /twitter
lifecoachannalisa@gmail /email

Annalisa O’Toole, Life Coach, Relationship Specialist, Inspirational Speaker http://www.annalisaotoole.com

Unhappy in your Relationship or Marriage?…

via LifeCoachAnnalisa (@CoachAnnalisa) | Twitter.

IMG_20140824_114804FOR ALL UNHAPPILY MARRIED WOMEN -or- TROUBLED RELATIONSHIPS……..
*Never allow your need for affection, money, security, affirmation, help with the kids, or fear of being alone and fear of managing as a single parent – be a reason you overlook verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, abandonment, infidelity, addictions, or having your needs go unmet over and over!
***NOTHING is more important than being emotionally connected to someone who is/does the following***
1. Admitting & Seeking therapy for problems/addictions (alcohol, porn, personality disorders, depression, infidelity, fear of intimacy, fear of commitment, fear of rejection, etc)
2. Following through on their word or commitments; does what they say they will do, you can always count on them being responsible.
3. Maintains consistent communication and interaction with their kids
4. Speaks to you and the kids with respectful, kind tones, not harshly, cursing, or rude – even when expressing disagreement, or disciplining.
5. Emotionally healthy (no issues with anger, self-control, impulse control, truthfulness, depression, manages their work/career successfully, can be open and honest with thoughts and feelings, lives transparently (no secrets) takes personal responsibility for mistakes, not a blamer/excuse maker.
6. Secure in who they are, where they are headed (goal oriented), in a job/career they love, happy with life and all that they experience, stays positive most of the time.
7. Enjoys, plans, and looks forward to time with you as a couple, time with family, time with kids. Stays engaged in the family unit, enthusiastically.
8. Is positive about their faith, seeking God in their life, and shows interest in growing spiritually in some way (attends church or Bible study, prays, reads Spiritual books, or serves in Ministry of some sort, etc) Do not be unequally yoked.
9. Has and demonstrates a TEAM attitude with you. Whether there are kids or no kids, everyone needs to feel supported with plans, goals, budgets, social activities, and travel, and hobbies. If the planning and implementing is always one sided, one person can become overwhelmed, over worked, unappreciated, and, bored. Everyone needs that one cheerleader- the person who has their back, helps them by initiating what is needed. It isn’t rocket science to see what is often routine chores may need attending to.
10. A person who genuinely WANTS to meet your love language needs, not because you ask them to, but because it comes from their heart to do it. TIME…GIFTS….WORDS….TOUCH….SERVICES. And they know how to balance these.

For more relationship advice, or support and coaching for your marriage, dating or parenting needs, please consider Life Coach Annalisa – more info at http://www.wordpress.com/inspiredliving, or call 678-431-6528

The pain of remaining the same…

WHEN THE PAIN OF REMAINING THE SAME…
ballet shoes trapped picgrows greater than the pain of making a change…you change. This beginning of 2015 can be the best time to free your spirit of accomplished desires. Unveil your true needs, let go of the fear you have held onto for so long. Sometimes, we can’t even identify our own fear, we just know we can’t move forward. We feel stuck. We are haunted by what we want, but can’t seem to get it. We are burdened by what we don’t want anymore, but can’t seem to follow a plan, or a consistent action that aligns with getting what we want. We set a goal, then we fail. We make a plan, even draw it out, then life gets busy. Challenges surround us. Every year, we make resolutions, then we forgot what they were by March.
This year really can be different. But the first step in designing a different life, is DECIDING that you CAN. BELIEVE that you WILL. And TRUST that IT IS happening! Some of you may have a weight goal. For others, a career goal. And for many, a relationship goal. As with any pattern of thought, what we think on, we bring on. Your thoughts are designing your life. You are attracting what you desire. If you are dwelling on the unwanted things in your life, they will continue to show up. If you are consumed with thoughts of doubt, you will keep having hesitations. If you are mindful of what you fear, you will continue feeling afraid of those things. Reminders of what you fear will keep showing up. But, if you focus on what you want, as if it is happening, and the visual is clear in your head of where you’re headed, and what you desire, then resources, opportunities, and people will begin to surround you for that to come to pass. You will actually manifest things that line up with that which you want! FOCUS:
Finish
One
Course
Until
Successful
If you are sincerely ready for change, you must be willing to pay a price. Change is not free. Something must change in order for a bigger change to take place. One penny thrown into the water causes a ripple, which causes another ripple, then before you know it, you have waves, then before you even blink, you have a current!
If you want change, you must change something uncomfortable. If you never move, you never feel the chains!
If we want something, our “WHY” must be greater (we must need it or want it MORE) than our ‘obstacles’.
If we want serious change, we must have a support system in place. You can’t get to your desired result without affirmation. People need encouragement. People need compliments. Surround yourself with positive people who support your dreams and goals. Surround yourself with leaders who have accomplished what you want to accomplish. Get connected to people who inspire you. Talk to people daily who are meeting their goals, and who create positive energy!
To accomplish something different this year, we need support that provides us with visual reminders daily. Make a DREAM BOARD with pictures and words that reflect who, what, when, where, and HOW you plan to achieve your goals. Get your family involved! include your children in your plans. If you achieve your goals, make sure you help them achieve theirs!
Without a gage to measure your success – a tracking system of some kind, you are less likely to achieve your success. Use a chart, an app, a friendly competitive partner going for the similar goals. When you have a tracking system in place, you know where you are now, where you’ve been (history) and how far you have to go!!
In order to accomplish great things this year besides acquiring support, visuals, and tracking, you will also need to make time daily to ‘sharpen your saw’ –school should never be out for the pro. We never ‘know it all’. Read a new book, always have a new read going. Tap into people who are making your goal happen, or who have already achieved what you want to – gain knowledge through relationships. If you want to find your soul mate this year, you need to read from the relationship experts on this subject. If you want to make more money in your field, you need to read from authors who have achieved success in your field. If you want to learn a new skill, you should watch videos, and tutorials on HOW TO to gain new insight for this endeavor. If you are trying to lose weight, learn from the top diet & physical fitness gurus.
Also, remember one last change before moving into a NEW year and NEW you — you can never create change sitting still. Nothing happens till someone gets excited, and MOVES. Move toward your goals with enthusiasm. Say, I am GAINING ___________________ this year!! Fill in the blank with a positive new goal! NEVER say, I am not, or I will not…. or I can not….or I won’t…
But instead say,
I AM_________________!!!!!
I WILL _______________!!!!!
I BELIEVE I CAN _________!!!!!
I KNOW I AM _____________ !!!!!
Everything good happens to those who believe. All good things come to those who wait. Every good thing will come to pass if that is what you are expecting and working toward. Stumbling blocks are only set backs that turn into stepping-stones when you step up and step out!!
If you have anxiety, it is because you are dwelling in the past, or worried about the future. We can only count ‘right now’ –you are in charge. This moment is a gift, it’s the present! Choose to be happy, healthy, and prosperous –it IS up to you!! You are one choice away from changing your entire world!! You’re one perspective away from making it a GREAT day!
Here’s to a fabulous 2015, and making ALL your goals and dreams come true! You deserve happiness! You are worthy of success!! You are IMPORTANT!!!

Life Coach Annalisa
lifecoachannalisa@gmail.com

Are you a RUG or a BUBBLE?

bubbleWhen the PAIN of remaining the same, grows GREATER than the pain of making a change, you CHANGE!

People want to complain. They play the victim, and have a bad attitude without realizing it. They get sick. Sickness manifests from stress. People target other’s and worldly experiences as reasons they are having a hardship. People are negative. People use doubt as a reason to not move forward. People fear the unknown. People justify their ill feelings based on blaming something or someone or find excuses. People are depressed. People can’t find their happy. People have troubled relationships. People can’t fix the problem in their life. People are discouraged…….
There IS a way out. There IS a remedy. There IS hope.

PRAY & MEDITATE daily for at least 20-30 minutes, learn this art of getting within yourself to heal, renew thoughts, renew focus, seek God.
EXERCISE at least 30 minutes each day.
EAT CLEAN, eat fruits & veggies, avoid processed food, cut out white flour, sugar, and artificial garbage. Choose real organic.
GET CLARITY for your purpose, your passion, your calling. Live life around serving in your area of expertise & gifts- verses working around your hobbies. Put God 1st, family 2nd, career/calling 3rd, and then add hobbies & fun, entertainment and interests; prioritizing your life will add value and harmony, a disorderly life depletes your energy. Being scattered often leads to having to rely on other’s for taking care of responsibilities that are yours.

Remember when our children would plea for doing something themselves, and we were resistant to allow them to do it, because we knew they would either get hurt, fall, fail, or otherwise mess it up? But our MESSING UP or getting hurt, or failing, or falling, is EXACTLY WHY we learned to do it better. Do it differently. We kept falling until we mastered the task. Stay consistent with this list, no matter how you fail, fall, or mess up – I promise, with consistency, you will ‘FEEL BETTER” “LOOK BETTER” “PERFORM BETTER” and it will create in you a feeling of self confidence that only comes from self satisfaction of a job well done!!

Most people don’t relaize they are continueing to complain about things they can’t change. We can only change our reactions, our attitudes and perspectives about things. So why not start today, CHANGE your habits. CHANGE to making this list your priority everyday. See if by practicing these simple steps, you don’t start FEELING BETTER…LOOKING BETTER….HAVE MORE POSITIVE EMOTIONS….ENJOYING LIFE MORE!

  • Doing these things consistently will eliminate negative energy. This regimen will reduce or eliminate stress.
  • This to-do list will greatly reduce or eliminate bad feelings, depression, sadness.
  • This list will give you a new focus, so less focus is dwelling on a crisis.
  • This list adds a sense of self-worth, dignity, pride, and good emotions because it is taking care of your body. Taking care of our passions. Taking care of our mind. Taking care of our focus and discipline, and schedule.
  • When your life- physically and emotionally- is in order, it is then you can thrive professionally, in relationships, and especially with feelings about yourself. Self confidence is the catalyst that propels you positively toward your goals in all area’s of your life.
  • The higher self-esteem you have, the higher your deserve level raises up. And when that happens you begin to recognize behaviors that cause you pain. The more pain you recognize and feel, the lower your tolerance becomes of unkind, manipulative, and emotionally unhealthy people. The lower your tolerance – the stronger you are in setting boundaries for a peaceful life.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God (within) ….and all these things shall be added unto you. 

With God, all things are possible.

Your body is a holy temple of GOD. 

And be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Eph.4:23

A life ending in destruction is one whose God is their belly (over-eaters)whose glory is in their shame (wrong doers) and whose mind is on earthly things (material-world minded) Phil. 3:19

In 1937, Napoleon Hill wrote a book about food, sex, and unspiritual minds being the culprits to why people are unhappy, unstable, broke, uncreative, unhealthy, and unable to see God’s grace. How powerful his words are in this very day and time when people are staying in unhealthy relationships for sex, or based on fear of being alone. People are not controlling their minds and seeking God to guide them, and therefore fall to the temptations of worldly material things to try and find happiness. Some people need constant noise, entertainment, and people around them because they are afraid of their own thoughts, owning their feelings or going down self discovery lane! Some people never meditate to find peace, clarity, or sense of purpose. They just take life on like a big giant shaggy rug, and absorb whatever comes their way. A better plan is living life like we are inside a giant invisible bubble that attracts the things we desire, and repels the people and things that don’t align with our boundaries; boundaries that we set that align with our purpose; our purpose that aligns with our passions. Our passions that align with our skills, gifts, talents, and deepest desires!!

Are you a RUG, or a BUBBLE??

Try the list for a month. See how life changes for you. Remember, it’s up to you – to make your life wonderful, fabulous and worth living- in peace and harmony and happiness!!

GET COACHED! BE BLESSED!!

Life Coach Annalisa~

Reasons to…RUN!!!!…if you’re dating someone with these…

SIGNS OF AN UNBALANCED PERSON you might date…
If any of these apply, no matter how cute, good-looking, how charming, or how attracted you are…RUN!!! Don’t make excuses, these are serious RED FLAGS. If you have to justify or answer to any of these with a statement like: “Well, they are working on that area” -or- “I see them trying to change that…” ..the Relationship coach says…RUN!!! They need some personal growth before being in a committed relationship, because the chances of them depending on ‘you’ to fill the missing link, is too great. Do you want a partner to ‘give’ to you or just ‘take’? More taking happens when you connect to someone who is unbalanced.
*NO BANK ACCOUNT or consistent money problems, needs to borrow money.
*NO PASSIONATE INTEREST- no use of creative talents, no excitement in work
*NO SERVING- not giving their time, talent, or money to help other’s in someway
*ADDICTED to alcohol, drugs, prescriptions, career, porn, hobbies, self, shopping
*ROLLER-COASTER personality.High & lows, depression, flip flops frequently.
*FRUITS of the SPIRIT are not apparent in their life. See Gal 5:22.
*CRISIS ORIENTED or DRAMATIC. Drama is creative avoidance.
*VERBAL, EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL abusers; or MANIPULATORS are unhealthy
*NOT OVER X, see’s, dates, text’s or socializes with an x-lover, partner, or spouse.
*NOT able to SET BOUNDARIES-yes is not yes, no is not no, or they stay neutral.
*DOES not HONOR their WORD. Non-committal, won’t set plans, breaks their word.
*Poor HEALTH HABITS: smoking, excessive drinking, over-eating, lazy, on med’s
*Poor MIND-SET: negative more than positive, Not goal-oriented, glass 1/2 empty
*EASILY ANGERS- this is a sign of deeper unresolved issues
*SELF-ABSORBED-always concerned about their role, their part, what affects them
*HIGH EXPECTATIONS- they always tend to expect things, has conditions
*NO COMPASSION-not a good listener, no romance, no eye-contact=no intimacy
*NOT NURTURING-does not meet your emotional needs, nor is a team player
*NOT INTERESTED in Spiritual growth-doesn’t talk about or learn more about God
*NOT INTERESTED in activities you like, your children, your hobbies, you world!
*CRITIQUES your interests, friends, spending habits, passions, activities often.
*VALUES are vastly different. Priorities are never aligned with yours creating conflict

Hope this helps. If you or someone you know is having relationship difficulty, Call 678-431-6528, Coach ANNALISA can schedule a phone session or in person session, Mention this post for 10%off!!