Why can’t I meet ‘THE ONE”? ~a guide to successful dating practices~

datingFirst of all, let’s review your THOUGHTS. Since your thoughts create emotions, and your emotional vibrations play a direct role in manifesting and attracting what you want, we should work on your thoughts.

If your thoughts are the same as the title of this blog: ‘Why can’t I’…(a double negative thought) this creates the same. In other words, if you believe you can never or will never do something…you will continue to not do it. You will never do it. So, your first tip in manifesting your soul mate, or the person of your dreams, is this: BELIEVE you can attract them. Then, think thoughts, and express words that allow your belief, words and thoughts that express the desire you want. So, shift your thoughts and feelings to this:

  • I will be meeting ‘the one’ soon.
  • I am ready to meet the one.
  • I am attracting the one.
  • I know ‘the perfect’ companion is arriving.
  • I believe the perfect mate is on their way.

One close friend of mine, believed so deeply in this concept of preparing and expecting his ideal mate, he actually rearranged his home in a way to prepare for her! He cleaned out the closet, and made half the space empty, ready for her things! He only uses 1/2 of the medicine cabinet in his bathroom, I think he even bought a new toothbrush and tooth paste and placed them in their new packaging in the bathroom drawer!

The next shift toward meeting your ideal mate, besides believing and preparing, and thinking thoughts that speak life into this desire, is to become the very best YOU. I hope you are not making the mistake of thinking that the ideal mate is your ‘end-all’ for solving your loneliness, or will end your yearning for companionship. Thinking a mate will rescue you from any pain, is a lie many people fall into believing.

You will be amazingly interesting, amazingly intriguing and ultimately attractive when you have passion in your life. When you are aiming for something that is enthusiastically driving you to serve in an area where you are using your creative talents, using your skills and gifts to help others, you will not likely make the mistake of being needy-clingy. Nor will you tolerate a mate who is. Maybe it’s your career, maybe it’s a part-time thing, or maybe you are at the beginning of figuring it out. However, if you have no idea what your calling is, or have no dream or excitement that drives you, you may want to consider spending some time on yourself, take a break from dating, or ‘trying’ to meet the right one. Going on a personal growth journey can be invigorating! Did you ever watch the movie, or read the book, Eat, Pray, Love? Fabulous.

Here’s a major News Flash: How will you know WHO you want, and if they will connect with you on a deep level, if you don’t know who YOU are, or where YOU’RE headed? How will you know if someone aligns with your dreams, aspirations, retirement plans, or mission, or values, if you haven’t discovered those for yourself? Everyone has a dream, everyone has a calling. I hope you’re not expecting another person to complete you. I hope Hollywood hasn’t saturated your mind with the notion that a love affair is the answer to make all of life’s crazy problems disappear!!

Falling in love will put a temporary hold on your existing issues. Discover your Calling, work toward that, and when you attract the right person, everything will line up perfectly.

A third vital step to meeting THE ONE, is knowing who you want. Do you have a list? I always encourage singles to ‘make the list’. This is a real, written out, bullet point list of all the traits you love, all the characteristics you need. Believe your worthy of this ideal person. Believe this person exists. Believe in God’s guidance toward attracting this person to you in His way, in His time. A big mistake I see in coaching single adults over the years is people having the same mentality about dating as we all had when we were young. It is the cycle that runs a little like this:

  • The Attraction: chemistry with someone based on looks and personality first.
  • The Hook: trying to see if they are interested, and will go out with you, or ask you out.
  • The Hopefulness: dating this person, hoping they will turn out to be everything you need!
  • The Reality: learning their flaws, believing they will change, or that these flaws won’t bother you much
  • The Let down: you are emotionally connected, intimately involved, and  scared you may be realizing they may not be suited for a ‘forever’ relationship with you.

A better, healthier, emotionally stable scenario for dating should run like this:

  • The Meeting: the first time you meet; you learn some interesting things and are intrigued.
  • The Talking stage: talking on the phone, or texting, getting to know them.
  • The Dating: Learning all you can, for as long as you can BEFORE becoming emotionally attached to them, intimate with them, Evaluating if their values and priorities jive with yours!
  • The 90 day rule: Don’t give up the cookie for 90 days. See if you can sustain getting to know them for at least 90 days before you become committed, or enter an ‘exclusive’ relationship. This way, you can feel assured that you have spent time discovering and evaluating whether or not they are safe, healthy, kind, and meet other important traits on your list. A great book that includes this awesome idea, is Steve Harvey’s, Act like a Woman, Think like a Man. 

If you have been dating, and you possibly are experiencing some of the following results, These are RED FLAGS. Red Flags are cautions about behaviors that usually do not produce positive, successful relationships.  Remember (this had a HUGE impact on me when I first read it) “We only allow people to treat us in a manner that matches how we really feel about ourselves” —WOW. Where is your deserve level?  Do you need to raise it?

If any of these Red Flags are happening, it is wise to try and re-evaluate your decisions about dating this person.

  • The person you’re dating is dating other people, so you feel confused and jealous.
  • The person you’re dating is not always available, and your unsure as to why.
  • The person you’re dating is needy, calls all the time, and is overly concerned with you.
  • The person you’re dating is emotionally unavailable; but seems to be into you
  • The person you’re dating won’t talk about where your relationship stands
  • The person you’re dating sleeps with you, but will not commit to being exclusive
  • The person you’re dating has an addiction. (drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, gambling, or other…)
  • The person you’re dating is unstable. (Not working, not responsible, not taking care of themselves but relying on others for meeting their basic needs)
  • The person you’re dating does not share your views spiritually
  • The person you’re dating does not share your same values about food, diet, and nutrition, or a healthy lifestyle
  • The person you’re dating does not make you feel energetic or important
  • The person you’re dating seems to be focused on their self mostly
  • The person you’re dating is estranged from their immediate family
  • The person you’re dating asks you for money, a loan, or to borrow things
  • You just have a ‘bad’ vibe, or an ‘off’, unexplainable, negative feeling about them

This list could go on and on, but I tried to hit the important ones.

Believe in meeting the one. Believe timing will be perfect. Believe everything in your life is in divine order. Believe, everything is happening for a good reason. There is power and wisdom in all that happens. And most importantly, know who you are, what it is you want, and then, you will, by default, attract who and what you deserve!!

~Coach Annalisa

For more relationship advice, or a free phone consultation about your situation, call Life Coach, Annalisa at 678-431-6528.

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Self-Empowerment

Here is a glossary of words to help you feel EMPOWERED to design the life you ‘really’ want….
ANXIETY….thinking on the past or future. Remedy: Be grateful in this present moment, enjoy the moment you are in, put away the electronics at times when you need to take in what is around you; engage in building relationships (not online, but real-face-to-face time) and simply, let go…allow…flow….in the ‘now’.
DEPRESSION…allowing your mind to default to the doubt, fear, worry, past hardships, future anxiety, sadness of something in the past. Remedy:
SHIFT… shift your mindset to your blessings. What do you have in your life right now that you are so appreciative of? WHO do you have in your life right now that you are so thankful for? Think on things that you desire so much, you can almost taste them showing up!!
BELIEVE…in yourself…in your gifts and talents….in your dreams…in your abilities to serve others and make a positive difference. YOU can, but if you think you can’t, your right.
RELATIONSHIPS….think on what IS working. What is DYNAMIC, not on what is not working, not going right. ONLY entertain the thoughts of positive outcomes, what you want, as if those things are already happening. When you do this, it’s like magic. Opportunities and change in others starts to happen. What we focus on; we bring on. Bring on flowing energy of love! Bring on your soul mate. Bring on the things that make you smile!!!!
MANIFESTING…. is awesome. Just remember, you can not think yourself thin by continuing thoughts of how fat you are! Contrasting thoughts are confusing GOD!!! Get clarity and vision for what exactly what you desire, think on that– as if it IS happening, it IS taking place, it IS developing…and you will recognize amazing results, fast, too!! But, as long as you have thoughts of what you don’t want, those will keep showing up.
Ever started liking a certain car, and then all of a sudden, you seem to see it everywhere? AH…..interesting.
SELF-TALK…the words we say to ourselves are powerful. Are you speaking life into yourself? Or, do I hear doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, disbelief, unworthiness, undeservedness whispering over there between your ears? Every great endeavor, every great relationship, every great entrepreneur started with someone putting value in him or herself first, otherwise, how could they get others on board for their mission, idea, or service? We will only receive in life, that which is aligned and equal or above to how we think of ourselves and what we deserve. Are you receiving what you deserve? No? Let’s raise our deserve levels, by acknowledging and believing we are unique, wonderful, and have gifts and talents that serve a greater purpose that can make a difference in this world. YOU ARE DIVINE!!!! No less than an amazingly talented, spiritual being who has work to do. First, in loving and forgiving yourself, and next, recognizing your great qualities, and then lastly; discovering a need in the world that your creativity can go and make a difference !!!! It can be with family, with a spiritual mission, with a business, or a career, or even within something part-time; but we are all called to do something; we must discover that calling, and begin with positive, loving, kind self-talk to accomplish our dreams. Remember Mohammad Ali? When I recall him being filmed, his famous words were: “I AM the greatest, I’ll show you how great I AM.” God worked through him, he was a champion in his field. In the movie, “Facing the Giants”, a teen was doubting his ability to kick for the football team because of his small size. His father said, “God can use you, David”. The boy said, “How can God use me, I’m so small, and the other kicker is the best at it”. His dad looked at him and said, “David, God works through the last, lost and least, to show how mighty He is. You go out there and do your best, let God do the rest!” In the cliff-hanger ending,Image result for champion pic David needed to make a 50 yard field goal to win the State Championship, and the coach asked him, “David, do you believe you can do it?” David said “I’ve never kicked that far before, coach” Coach asked again, “But David, DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT? I NEED YOU TO BELIEVE YOU CAN!”…..
……..YOU ARE A CHAMPION, but not until you believe it!!……

Happy Valentines Day…but…I want to break up…

IMG_20140725_073621Here’s the hardest reality for some people on Valentines Day: Pretending to celebrate a Love, that in their heart of hearts, has evaporated.  Yet, due to the hurt it may cause their love, they do not want to express their true feelings, before Valentines, during Valentines, or shortly afterwards. The pain of having to conform to a day where lovers exchange gifts, and words of gratitude and passion can be excruciating. Many people love their partner but don’t feel IN LOVE.  It leads to thoughts like, “what is ‘IN LOVE” mean, really? “Can true love even exist?”- “Is finding a soul mate even possible?” Sometimes the hurt of breaking up can be devastating, even if you are the one wanting to call it off. Many times, the other person didn’t do anything wrong, but you aren’t feelin’ it anymore.  When this happens, it is such an ordeal when you know you are going to break someones heart. You dread dealing with the crying, the text messages, the constant questions. You’re to the point of visualizing an interrogation of disastrous proportions!! Maybe though, You’re not wanting the break up, but someone has or is trying to…break up with you.

Here’s an amazingly positive thought. What if breaking up could be perceived as a LOVING gesture? Breaking up could actually be a GIFT!  Let’s examine how this can be true, even for the broken hearted receiver from the ‘breaker-upper’.

First of all, here are some of the feelings breaker-uppers usually have. They feel like they need space. They feel they need to disconnect, not necessarily for actions they dislike about their partner, but rather, actions they want to experience without being in an exclusive relationship. Some people want to break the constant communication, checking in, the assumed ‘together time’ on the weekends, and it’s not always about being interested in someone else. Breaker-uppers sometimes want out of feeling trapped. Or maybe, they haven’t felt independent in so long, they need more time to discover more about themselves.  Some breaker-upper’s have a gut feeling, an intuition that is leading them toward being solo –for no apparent reason, just feels right to transition there. And for some, the red flags of the relationship or the other person are just too much to continue. There are different value systems and priorities that become apparent after being with someone for a while, (after the infatuation stage wears off, which can be a year up to 7 years!) and the person didn’t do anything wrong like cheat, or defy their loyalty or respect, but one person just realizes the differences are too vast to remain compatible.  There is the case where the breaker-upper ‘changes’ in their values or priorities, and the relationship isn’t flowing like it once did when choices and decisions were made around different activities and perspectives. Also, there are people who are shy about speaking up in a new relationship to honor their deeper preferences, and then when they become stronger in expressing what they really want, this becomes foreign to their partner, and causes conflict.

Whatever the situation is, breaking up is always a hard thing to do. However, if you look at yourself, look deep within yourself, it really doesn’t matter if you are being broken up with, or you’re the one breaking up — IT IS STILL A GIFT and let me tell you why.  If the other person is ‘doubtful’ of their feelings, or needs more time to evaluate their individuality — PRAISE GOD for this!!! Would you want someone to stay with you otherwise? If you did, you are selfish. The best relationships are the ones where two individually healthy people team up, speak up, live it up, and love up life – together.  If your partner is breaking up, they are giving you the gift of freedom. Freedom to evaluate ‘your own life’ – (while they evaluate theirs!) and freedom of time to explore your passions, experience life without being on a team for a while. It can be WONDERFUL!  And think of this, they are actually giving you the most UNSELFISH gift. The gift of TRUTH. They are being honest with their feelings.  it would be dishonest to hide those feelings on Valentine’s, offering you rose pedals, bouquets, chocolate, and sex, but their heart is wanting out.

I’ve never understood the ‘anger’ people have when someone breaks up. I don’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t want me. The ‘wanting me’ is a major part of why I want them!!  I value myself. I love myself. I love my life. I like my personality. I like my career. I love my friends and family. If someone else doesn’t value me, ALL the qualities about me, even my short comings, then WHY would I beg, cry, ask a million questions, and even spend any time worrying over their decision of leaving me? I wouldn’t. No one gets that kind of  power over me. Sadness? Yes, it’s OK to be sad. But only for a moment. Some need longer moments than others.  But if you look at a break-up as a gift, a gift the other person gave YOU, and gave their self, you can take this punch a little stronger.

Also, Breaking up is an act of service and kindness. Why? Because it speaks volumes for the breaker-upper’s deeper character. They are being true to self. They are able to express a feeling; they are not afraid to risk a future friendship, or love, because they are honoring their inner sense of knowing. They are trusting a gut feeling, or their inner compass. They could be following God’s will, and/or, their inner sense of caution. While to most, a break-up is horrible, and viewed as depressing, and unkind; to healthy people, it is an act of real love for self, and for their soon to be -former lover.

“IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, LET IT GO, IF IT’S MEANT TO BE IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU”

Another positive approach to a breakup, is to look at it as a way to know, evaluate, or gauge if the relationship is TRULY meant to be, truly intimate, and truly what you want for the rest of your life. How could you determine this if there has never been a time you could venture into thinking for yourself, deciding individually for yourself, or freedom to develop your own ideas, your own goals. If you have ALWAYS been a team, and you feel shorted by not having independance with life’s ups and downs, it is HEALTHY to break up to go through a discovery process. This type of break up sends a positive message- that you aren’t rejecting your lover, but rather, you are in need of space from being exclusive, and all that exclusivity has involved during your relationship.There is a big difference!

So, if you are contemplating a break-up, or someone is breaking up with you, look at this as a positive transitional time in your life of God’s favor. It is a blessing of time. It is a gift in kindness. It is a chance to personally grow. It is a breather. It is a freedom opportunity to discover more about yourself. It is a healthy time for you to develop personally. It is a break from dual-choices, into the liberating feeling of independent thinking. It can provide time and space for personal reflection, contemplation, and setting values or goals into motion.

BREAKING UP is…(not hard to do)…but rather, a non-selfish, act of honest, loving kindness. Accept or give the gift without worry of hurt, but with compassion for a positive future for both people. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not boastful. Love is not jealous or self serving. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love does not anger, but comforts. Love serves. Love never fails. 1 Cor. 14:4-8, and some additions- by your’s truly. : )

Happy Breaking up this Valentines day. I sincerely wish you have found hope and faith in what the world views as a hardship; as a renewal time, an amazing gift, and one of the most sincerest acts of kindness within all that Love embraces.

~Life Coach, Relationship Specialist, Inspirational Speaker,

Annalisa O’Toole

For more relationship advice, dating, marriage, or divorce coaching or support, or counsel…

Email Coach Annalisa: lifecoachannalisa@gmail.com…

Read other blogs at http://www.wordpress.com/inspiredliving…

Call 678-431-6528 to set up a phone or live session in Buford, GA…

Follow Coach Annalisa on twitter: @coachannalisa

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Are you a RUG or a BUBBLE?

bubbleWhen the PAIN of remaining the same, grows GREATER than the pain of making a change, you CHANGE!

People want to complain. They play the victim, and have a bad attitude without realizing it. They get sick. Sickness manifests from stress. People target other’s and worldly experiences as reasons they are having a hardship. People are negative. People use doubt as a reason to not move forward. People fear the unknown. People justify their ill feelings based on blaming something or someone or find excuses. People are depressed. People can’t find their happy. People have troubled relationships. People can’t fix the problem in their life. People are discouraged…….
There IS a way out. There IS a remedy. There IS hope.

PRAY & MEDITATE daily for at least 20-30 minutes, learn this art of getting within yourself to heal, renew thoughts, renew focus, seek God.
EXERCISE at least 30 minutes each day.
EAT CLEAN, eat fruits & veggies, avoid processed food, cut out white flour, sugar, and artificial garbage. Choose real organic.
GET CLARITY for your purpose, your passion, your calling. Live life around serving in your area of expertise & gifts- verses working around your hobbies. Put God 1st, family 2nd, career/calling 3rd, and then add hobbies & fun, entertainment and interests; prioritizing your life will add value and harmony, a disorderly life depletes your energy. Being scattered often leads to having to rely on other’s for taking care of responsibilities that are yours.

Remember when our children would plea for doing something themselves, and we were resistant to allow them to do it, because we knew they would either get hurt, fall, fail, or otherwise mess it up? But our MESSING UP or getting hurt, or failing, or falling, is EXACTLY WHY we learned to do it better. Do it differently. We kept falling until we mastered the task. Stay consistent with this list, no matter how you fail, fall, or mess up – I promise, with consistency, you will ‘FEEL BETTER” “LOOK BETTER” “PERFORM BETTER” and it will create in you a feeling of self confidence that only comes from self satisfaction of a job well done!!

Most people don’t relaize they are continueing to complain about things they can’t change. We can only change our reactions, our attitudes and perspectives about things. So why not start today, CHANGE your habits. CHANGE to making this list your priority everyday. See if by practicing these simple steps, you don’t start FEELING BETTER…LOOKING BETTER….HAVE MORE POSITIVE EMOTIONS….ENJOYING LIFE MORE!

  • Doing these things consistently will eliminate negative energy. This regimen will reduce or eliminate stress.
  • This to-do list will greatly reduce or eliminate bad feelings, depression, sadness.
  • This list will give you a new focus, so less focus is dwelling on a crisis.
  • This list adds a sense of self-worth, dignity, pride, and good emotions because it is taking care of your body. Taking care of our passions. Taking care of our mind. Taking care of our focus and discipline, and schedule.
  • When your life- physically and emotionally- is in order, it is then you can thrive professionally, in relationships, and especially with feelings about yourself. Self confidence is the catalyst that propels you positively toward your goals in all area’s of your life.
  • The higher self-esteem you have, the higher your deserve level raises up. And when that happens you begin to recognize behaviors that cause you pain. The more pain you recognize and feel, the lower your tolerance becomes of unkind, manipulative, and emotionally unhealthy people. The lower your tolerance – the stronger you are in setting boundaries for a peaceful life.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God (within) ….and all these things shall be added unto you. 

With God, all things are possible.

Your body is a holy temple of GOD. 

And be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Eph.4:23

A life ending in destruction is one whose God is their belly (over-eaters)whose glory is in their shame (wrong doers) and whose mind is on earthly things (material-world minded) Phil. 3:19

In 1937, Napoleon Hill wrote a book about food, sex, and unspiritual minds being the culprits to why people are unhappy, unstable, broke, uncreative, unhealthy, and unable to see God’s grace. How powerful his words are in this very day and time when people are staying in unhealthy relationships for sex, or based on fear of being alone. People are not controlling their minds and seeking God to guide them, and therefore fall to the temptations of worldly material things to try and find happiness. Some people need constant noise, entertainment, and people around them because they are afraid of their own thoughts, owning their feelings or going down self discovery lane! Some people never meditate to find peace, clarity, or sense of purpose. They just take life on like a big giant shaggy rug, and absorb whatever comes their way. A better plan is living life like we are inside a giant invisible bubble that attracts the things we desire, and repels the people and things that don’t align with our boundaries; boundaries that we set that align with our purpose; our purpose that aligns with our passions. Our passions that align with our skills, gifts, talents, and deepest desires!!

Are you a RUG, or a BUBBLE??

Try the list for a month. See how life changes for you. Remember, it’s up to you – to make your life wonderful, fabulous and worth living- in peace and harmony and happiness!!

GET COACHED! BE BLESSED!!

Life Coach Annalisa~

Three Tree’s

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My daughter in college is a nanny. She watches over three very young sisters. Her hours after her classes are usually from 3pm -8pm, sometimes she stays later. She was putting the oldest child to bed, when the little one asked her to read a library book she had checked out. The story of the three tree’s goes something like this:

The Three Trees
Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: ” I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I’ll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!” The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on it’s way to the ocean. ” I want to be traveling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. I’ll be the strongest ship in the world! The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. I don’t want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me they’ll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world.

Years, passed. The rain came, the sun shone and the little trees grew tall. One day three wood cutters climbed the mountain. The first wood cutter looked at the first tree and said, “This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me.” With a swoop of his shining ax, the first tree fell. “Now I shall make a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!” the first tree said.

The second wood cutter looked at the second tree and said, “This tree is strong. It’s perfect for me.” With a swoop of his shining ax, the second tree fell. “Now I shall sail mighty waters!” thought the second tree. ” I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!”

The third tree felt her heart sink when the last wood cutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the wood cutter never even looked up. “Any kind of tree will do for me.” He muttered. With a swoop of his shining ax, the third tree fell.

The first tree rejoiced when the wood cutter brought her to a carpenter’s shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, or treasure. She was coated with saw dust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the wood cutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty sailing ship was made that day. Instead the once strong tree was hammered and awed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even a river, instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the wood cutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. “What happened?” The once tall tree wondered. ” All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God…”

Many days and nights passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box. “I wish I could make a cradle for him.” Her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and sturdy wood. ” This manger is beautiful.” She said. And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and a thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She new she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and the rain. The tired man awoke. He stood up, stretched out his hand, and said, “Peace.” The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the king of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten wood pile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man’s hand to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God’s love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God. That was better than being the tallest tree in the world.

Things aren’t always as they seem; in the midst of hardship, are the invisible inner workings of your dream. God is designing, creating, and working behind the visible scenes to bring you honor, happiness, and all the desires of your heart. Seek Him, and you will find him. Knock and His door shall be opened. Do unto other’s as you would have them do unto you, and your dreams will come true. The seasons of challenge and painful experiences are only that – a season; believe with all your heart, God is working and creating life to be in your favor, and your dream will be bigger and better than you could ever even imagine!

~Life Coach Annalisa

http://www.annalisaotoole.com

The Three Tree’s ref: http://www.word4life.com

http://www.annalisaotoole.com

Attachment…

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Attachment...

Do you feel an ‘Attachment’ to things? THINGS are so often ‘attached’ to feelings. We may feel powerful in a particular style suit. We may ‘feel’ prestigious driving the model car we are so attached to. (Mine would so be the Jag- if money were plentiful) I feel ‘organized’ attached to my old school, paper-binder-day-planner. Some feel attached to their job, which is often their passion, so their own identity is affiliated to this career attachment, that’s what makes it so difficult sometimes for some to lose their job. It wasn’t just the loss of a pay-check; their job was where they subconsciously attached their self-worth or their sense of belonging. The most fulfilling, and yet, ironically- the most devastating attachment of course, I’m sure you could guess it, is the special RELATIONSHIP attachment. People make or break us. We receive so many fulfillments in human relationships. This is the exact reason people are so attached to pets – their need to always have a companion, a never-failing friend, one who is always wagging a tail, licking, or happy to see us, or in the case of certain pets, just always there – never mind we are keeping them captive!!
Attachment could possibly be good and bad. Attachment is bittersweet. Attachment is part of life for monetary and relational benefits. So…the big questions people ask about this subject…
WHY AM I SO ATTACHED TO THIS?
WHEN DID I BECOME SO ATTACHED?
HOW DO I UNATTATCH MYSELF?
The only people NOT asking these type questions are those people still attached to something; so they aren’t missing that person or thing they are attached to. Other’s not asking, are simply people who are not attached.
Most people do not even realize they are extremely attached to something. It just happens, day-in and day-out like the sunrise and sunset.
So…the question is this: Is attachment good or bad? Is attachment good with some things and in some areas, and not good in other area’s? Here’s what the coach says….
If the person or thing you’re attached to is YOUR WHOLE WORLD…this is unhealthy. Healthy attachments are the keys to emotionally healthy lives. If you make an attachment your world, your world will crumble. If you make your expectations or your preferences your attachment, you will experience disappointment. If your lifestyle, your career, your passions, your creativity and contribution, and your service to others doesn’t derive from a peaceful place within you, in other words, you place these vital needs in things outside yourself, or in monetary things, you will surely experience hardship, hurt, and major crisis throughout your life. There is only one way to experience and provide yourself with healthy attachments…BE ATTACHED AND ADDICTED TO GOD WITHIN YOU! When you are living a life guided by the Holy Spirit, you are living with peace, harmony and an understanding that God may only allow people and things to be in your life for a brief moment, a season, or a lifetime. The only attachment that is NOT jeopardized is your relationship attachment to our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus creates us to feel alive, feel at peace, provides us the desire to love and serve others. Here’s a list of how God can make you feel when you allow Him into your life:
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING YOUR TALENTS.
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING YOUR GIFTS.
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING YOUR PREFERRENCES, NEVER SETTLING.
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING YOUR DESIRES AND DEEPEST NEEDS.
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING YOUR IDEAL MATE, NOT SETTLING.
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING YOUR HOBBIES and INTERESTS.
He’ll help you feel great about FORGIVING YOURSELF AND TRULY LOVING YOURSELF.
He’ll help you feel great about DETERMINING YOUR PLANS YOUR DREAMS.
He’ll help you feel great about ALLOWING YOURSELF TO DREAM.
He’ll help you feel great about BEING SO FOCUSED ON YOUR ASPIRATIONS THAT NOTHING CAN DETOUR YOU.
He’ll help you UNDERSTAND AND KNOW THAT ATTACHMENT TO SOMEONE IS NOT CREATING OR DEFINING WHO YOU ARE, HE ALREADY DETERMINED THAT! IT’S UP TO US TO GO TO HIM AND DISCOVER MORE!
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING THAT ATTACHMENT TO A TITLE OR POSITION IS NOT YOUR TRUE IDENTITY.
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING THAT HE MADE YOU IN HIS LIKENESS, SO YOU ARE POWERFUL, GREAT, AND TALENTED!
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING THAT “HOW SOMEONE TREATS YOU IS ABOUT THEIR TRUE CHARACTER, NOT YOURS.”
He’ll help you feel great about KNOWING THAT NOTHING ON EARTH IS A GUARANTEE, BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE, NOT WHERE YOU ARE, OR WHO YOU’RE WITH!
REMEMBER, it’s up to you, to make it a fabulous day! BE HEALTHFULLY ATTACHED TO ALL GOD GUIDES YOU TO, AND BECOME unattached TO ALL unhealthy PEOPLE OR THINGS THAT DO NOT SERVE YOUR PURPOSE GOD HAS PLACED WITHIN YOU!!!
Coach Annalisa
http://www.annalisaotoole.com