Why am I a ‘LOSER’ magnet?….

Are you #single and struggling because you want to FIND THE RIGHT ONE?…..Do you feel like you’re constantly single#attracting the wrong people?  Please allow me to coach your perspective regarding your mindset about ‘attraction’. I have learned, and it has been my personal experience, that we attract people who we feel are most like us. Many say, that absolutely can not be true, because they feel they are ‘NOT’ like the last person they dated!  But, there is something about each person we attract that resonates with us, which is why we become connected. Then, we learn of the qualities that we don’t like, and we decide (sometimes) to become, disconnected, or disassociated. (Or,we stay connected due to the physical attraction, the sexual infatuation, and wonder why you can’t get along, or have a roller coaster relationship) So, how then, do we learn to discern who to attract? Here’s the secret…WE ATTRACT THAT WHICH WE MOST THINK ABOUT. This can be a person, place, thing, opportunity, tragedy, crisis, challenge, event, ordeal, group, material items, money, etc… So, what are you focusing on? If you are focused on your faults, your doubts, your fears, and your lack of something, THIS IS EXACTLY what will appear into your reality. Sometimes, your focus can manifest as a person with the very qualities you’re trying to avoid! Why? You keep thinking of what you don’t like!! Or perhaps an opportunity that seems appealing at first, but turns out to be the VERY SITUATION YOU FEAR – why?, because you were keeping those fears around in your thoughts. Maybe you have been consumed on ‘not being able to pay the bills’. So, therefore, deeper debt has arisen. WHY? You were thinking THAT exact thought, the thoughts of ‘not being able to pay the bills”.  So the universe has delivered to you –your continued inability to pay them!!! Do you see a pattern here?

 In Earl Nightingale’s amazing audio, THE STRANGEST SECRET, he reveals this very philosophy; and he expressed he wished he had capitalized on it years earlier in his youth. You see, that which we surround our thoughts and ourselves with, (feelings, perspectives, like-minded individuals, experiences, people, influences, books, movies, social-media, etc) is what we focus on. That which we focus on is what we are believing. What we are seeking is what we will find.  The secret of success, the definition in fact of success, is this: “Any continual  pursuit of a worthy ideal”. So, if you value yourself, you like your own qualities, you deeply believe there is an ideal mate for you (a worthy ideal) and you affix your thoughts on the expectation of them coming into your life at the right time, and believe strongly that they will have all the qualities you have already defined and written down (this is very important — if you haven’t declared a target, how will you know where to shoot? If there is no vision, there can be no mission!)  You will attract the person whom you believe is out there, coming to you, because you have identified their qualities, you have internalized the faith that they exist, and you truly want a compatible partner to share life with. Remember, if your words are statements like, “I don’t think I’ll ever find the right one”, or “I’m just not marriage material”, or “No one could really love me, I’m so screwed up”….then you know what, YOUR RIGHT!!!  Shift your words to this: “I believe God knows WHO I need, WHEN I need them, and HOW the attraction will happen.” You might say, “I know, expect, believe, and can visualize all the qualities of my ideal partner, I just can’t see their face, right this minute” -or- “I know EXACTLY what I don’t want, so red flags will always wave when meeting someone new who is not the right one” this is the affirmation that you are telling yourself you WILL discern. If you continue to say your picker is broken, it will remain broken. 

You are designing your life. Be careful of your thoughts, as they are creating what is magnetizing toward you!!

For further Relationship Life Coaching, visit http://www.wordpress.com/inspiredliving, or teamotoole.wordpress.com, you can also Add LifeCoachAnnalisa O’Toole as a friend on facebook. Remember, a life coaching, dating, or self-empowerment session is just a phone call away!!  Remember, it’s up to you to make it a great and fabulous day!!

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